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My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex anymore is it me?

By August 12, 2009 - 10:14am
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well im 9 months pregnant and me and my boyfriend have only bin together 11 months but in my opinion we are in love and get along great... but he doesn't want to have sex i meen we do but it is rare, when we first got together we always had sex but now im lucky if its once or twice in a month im emotional and feel like maybe hes not attracted to me but when i ask he says its not that but i do remeber and argument we had that he said why would i your huge and you dont do anything now you just lye there but i am very big so its hard to do any positions that don't hurt i love him alot but i dont think its normal for a guy a year yonger to lose his drive we should be loving each other and he has actually said i just dont want to we did it yesterday. does anyone have any ideas??

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EmpowHER Guest

oh i want to have sex with u

August 25, 2009 - 11:21am
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Welcome to Empowher!

Some men just do not enjoy sex with a woman who is 9 months pregnant. It could be just a preference, some men are afraid they'll hurt the woman/baby and some men just feel weird, knowing there is a fully matured baby a few inches away from their penis.

I do hope your sex life will get back to normal once you have recovered from birth. Sex in the late stages of pregnancy is not usually the same as early pregnancy or in a non-pregnant state.

My only concern is that he was complaining you cannot assume more exciting sexual positions at 9 months pregnant. Unfortunately, that's not possible for many (indeed, most) pregnant woman so you do as much as you can do and a woman certainly does not need criticism that she's not performing the entire contents of the kama sutra at the end stages of pregnancy! This sounds rather selfish on his part, to claim that "all you do is lie there." What is he expecting?

I don't know if he has lost his sex drive - it seems more that he still wants sex as if you are not 9 months pregnant and that's just not going to happen - for now. You need to be comforted and loved-up, not called "huge" and other potentially hurtful things. And I don't think you are necessarily "emotional" to react the way you do - I think he is being immature and your reactions are normal, and befitting the circumstance.

I do hope he cops a better attitude toward you and I'm sorry his behavior is how it is. You have a wonderful attitude towards sex, as well as realistic.

Also be aware that you are not yet a year together and already are about to have a child together. This in itself is very difficult so you have a lot of growing to do in your relationship that has nothing to do with sexual aspects. You have added a ton of stress to a brand new relationship while really still in the "getting to know you" stage.

I hope he develops a better attitude towards you soon - life is about to change even more for you both, very soon and a positive face from both of you is needed.

Hopefully this is just pre-baby jitters and things will smooth out for you! Be proactive about your situation and explain to your boyfriend that he needs to go easy on you and complaining like this is not acceptable.

I wish you the best with your new baby!

August 12, 2009 - 11:20am
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