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I met my current boyfriend just after I split up with my ex and knew he was keen for a while but I was not ready to see anyone new. However, after a while I agreed to go out with him and have been seeing him now for a year and five months. During the first four months we had regular sex (about 5-6 times a week). Our living arrangements then changes as I moved back into my parents about 9 months ago but about 6 months ago our sex life deteriorated rapidly. We see each other every day and go on holiday together but he never wants to have sex. We can go at least a month before sex becomes possible. He ALWAYS initiates it but when I respond he backs downs, fakes a headache or tiredness or causes an argument. Outside of the bedoom our relationship is great, he takes me on trips, compliments me and buys me gifts and is interested in my life but as soon as we are alone he loses his nerve. I have even tried to tempt him with underwear and sexual toy, which he always agrees to but never wants to act out. I am worried about whether the issue is physical or pschological and whether it is to do with me or him.
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Hi Anonymous,
Sorry to hear that you are having issues in your relationship. Have you talked to him about this? Have you tried to initiate sex with him? Men can be pretty dumb sometimes, you know. Dressing sexy may be your way to get his attention but maybe since your not initiating, he thinks you are uninterested in him. Men LOVE their ego's and giving them the satisfaction that you want to rip his clothes off too may satisfy his questioning the relationship, if any.
Other issues that could be associated with this is cheating, erectile dysfunction, etc. We would have to understand what is going on besides the lack of sex to help with the issue at hand.
Please let us know what your talk with him entailed so we can be of further assistance to you.
May 16, 2010 - 9:26amThis Comment