Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half. Im 19 and he is just 24. When we got together i was a virgin and he had had about 7 sexual partners. At first the sex was good, exciting, new and quite regular (once a week-ish) although he would rarely orgasm. However since about 8 months ago, it has drastically depleted. It all started when we were having sex and he went soft during the middle of it. He apologised and i wasn't that bothered, just thought it was a one time thing, can happen to anyone. Since then however it has happened every time, and since then we have only had sex around 1-2 times a month. At the time when it first started he was working night shifts alot and was quite stressed with work, so i put it down to that and so did he. He has been back to normal hours for 4 months now and the problem is still the same. About 2 months ago i finally spoke to him about it, i was becoming upset and disheartened as i thought i was doing something wrong. Did he not fancy me anymore? Why didn't he want to sleep with me? Why couldn't i make him orgasm, but he could make me? We both became very upset (first time id ever seen him cry) and he did everything to reassure me it was him and not me. He still fancies me and its just the way he is. He says that he gets his enjoyment from making me orgasm during sex. We have since had another argument over the lack of sex we have and he was more defensive this time. He said he felt i was being unreasonabIe and most relationships don't have sex that often. Yet i still feel like i literally force him into having sex with me, if i dont badger him enough about it then i feel like we never would! And sometimes that can make me feel cheap, slaggy and desperate. It's realy getting me down. We both love each other a lot, but this is becoming a big problem in our relationship. We want to move in together, but im not sure anymore. If i imagine a future with him all i see is us getting married and him not wanting sex on our wedding night! Or trying for babies but we can't because he can't orgasm during sex! I am also concerned for his health because he cant orgasm/goes soft regularly and feel like this could be because of a health issue? I've spoken to him about this but he refuses to see a doctor and thinks that nothing is wrong. I don't think it is his diet as that hasn't changed since i've known him and he dislikes his job, but that has been the case for 6 years now and he isn't really doing anything about it. He isn't fully happy with his body, he often says his stomach is fat (it's really really not fat) He is about 6ft and 13 1/2 stone.
I don't know what to do, i love him and want to stay with him, but i'm only young and i feel like i'm really missing out on great sex! I know sex isn't everything, but i think for a relationship to survive it needs to be good and enjoyed from both sides. Any advice for me?
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