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My boyfriend said he loves me but he cant have sex with me because im chubby

By Anonymous May 11, 2015 - 9:54pm
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my boyfriend and I met coz i work for him and we've been together for almost a year now. We always have a great time when we are out together but in bed he is not really into it, he doesn't make out with me and he doesn't really want to have sex and i just tried to understand it but it really gets weird over time. We tried having sex but he cant even get it up he doesn't want to make out with me still and he only wants blowjob with my clothes on. I find it so weird I asked him one time if he was gay, but he said he cant get it up coz he was never really sexually attracted to a chubby person like me and he cant make out with because i have pimples on my face. we've been together for almost a year and he said I shouldn't get the wrong Idea about it He loves me so much and its just that it really hard when it comes to bed. He said I don't need to change for him but its like too awkward for me to be with him in the same bed since we talked about it.

I don't really know if he really loves me or he just want my company every time we are out. I'm really confused, if I love someone i never really care about physical appearance and I believe that if you really love someone you can accept her fully and you will be sexually attracted to her. I just don't know what to feel right now because I never had a problem with my exes before because I'm already like this and they passionately have sex with me, makes out with me and my physical appearance never really bothers them. I'm now questioning his real intention to me and I don't know if I can stay with him in the same bed. I feel so insecure more than ever. What should I do?

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post.

It sounds like your boyfriend loves you as a friend but is not sexually attracted to you. That's just the way it is, he can't help how he feels. However, I think telling you it's because you are fat or have pimples is a bit cruel.  

We can love a lot of people but not be in love with them (eg; family and friends) and this seems to be the case with him. I'm not sure why he is leading you on in this case. 

Since you know his feelings are not romantically inclined, I think it's in your best interests to be strong and walk away. You can still be friends but this is not relationship material. 



May 12, 2015 - 4:42am
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