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My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and our relationship has been going smoothly, we do not argue a lot but he is not always the best at communicating how he feels. Recently he told me that he no longer wants to have sex, because he is afraid of getting me pregnant. He says that this will mess things up for us, since we are both at crossroads in our lives. We use protection, so it's harder for me to understand this. It just makes me feel inadequate and hurt, like he no longer sees me the same. I tried to ask him why he is just now saying something, but he says he's always felt this way.
Everything else is going fine in our relationship. We both have stress from work, but do not really talk about stress a lot. We spend adequate time together (maybe too much?).
I need advice because I'm concerned and hurt.
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Dear WDE,
I am sorry your are experiencing this with your boyfriend. If you are using condoms (or pill) alone then he may genuinely not trust it entirely but I am surprised that he hasn't asked you for a second form of birth control if this is the case. If you are on the pill and also using condoms then there may be more to this or he may truly be paranoid about getting you pregnant. Have a talk with him when you two are alone and not in a hurry to do anything else-- it's the best advice I can give you. If he is willing to change if there is a second form of birth control added then your relationship is worth it and we must give him kudos for being responsible. If not, then there may be something or someone else in the way.
If he's willing to go through counseling for his constant fear of pregnancy, then that may also be a great way to bond and save your relationship.
Good Luck.
January 5, 2010 - 6:59amThis Comment