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ASKmy boyfriend for over a year just recently stopped having sex with me, its like it went from 3 or 4 times a week and slowly went to not having it for almost 2 months, every time i ask him why he wont play with me anymore he always says i don't know, i didn't want to make it feel like i was bugging him but i guess it just hurt when he said he didn't know? So i kept asking him and then i finally got a response which i just think he gave me so i would stop asking and he just said i feel like your getting bored of me. I've tried many times to tell him that its not really about the sex its about being with him and he still wont have sex with me.. i feel like i'm not wanted or i'm not good enough. I just want to know what the problem is, sex used to be a big part of our relationship and now its nothing.
I know it shouldnt but this is really making me depressed i've been crying more because of this i get mad easly because he just seems like he doesnt care anymore. Also i know he doesn't have a STD or anything else we get checked.
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im 28 and my partner is 33 we been together 2 years and we used to have sex three times a day but we haveny done nothing for the last 6 months its bugging me cos ive tried so much and asked why he wont and also got outfits and tried porn and wat not but theres nothing he says its him and that he dont want it and will soon but i cant carry on im frustrated would nevr cheat and spoke to him so much i dont no wat else to do its ruinin our relationship as it makes me mad and upset and we argue
March 26, 2013 - 8:59amThis Comment
Hi Anon
If you haven't had sex with your boyfriend in 6 months and he won't talk to you about it, says you'll have sex together soon but it never happens and you are arguing about it, you need to get into therapy together (or alone or both) or end the relationship because you've spent the last 6 months waiting for him to decide how he feels to no avail. If he won't talk to you about it or agree to changes, then staying the relationship seems pointless if you are looking for things to change.
Best,
Susan
March 26, 2013 - 1:53pmhe tels me he loves me amd wants to b with me and said in future about having a baby and marriage but its just the fact he wont lwt ought happen i have been through councilling as im para and say if he aint doon stuff with me then hes cheating he said its put him of wantin sex cos ive pushed him away and accuse him all the time wat else can i do
March 28, 2013 - 4:14amIv been with my bf for 5 years i just turned 21 iv known him since gr 6 we used to have sex 6 times a day and now rarely once a week i always beg him ill give him oral occassionally but rarely or hardly ever anything in returni gained some weight iv tried mixing things up in the bedroom plus i know he watches a lot of porn i feel worthless and useless and very sexually frustrated. ANY reccomendations!?? Iv tried talking with him and nothing seems to work i know for a fact hes not cheating iv been going to the gym n his number one exscuse is that hes always tired he works for my dad n there hasnt even been much work lately n so i dont see how hes always tired but he does sleep a lot too so im lost HELP?!
March 8, 2013 - 5:19amHi Anon
Thanks for your post!
If you boyfriend is watching a lot of porn, he may be substituting it for you and has developed a preference for porn over a real woman - this can happen when someone is actively into a lot of porn.
You might want to talk to him about this.
If he is sleeping a lot, he may be bored or a bit depressed that the work isn't coming in - is he having money problems?
Susan
March 8, 2013 - 1:27pmI'm just wondering why in my 6 year relationship we have sex every day and all a sudden we haven't had sex in over a week coz he is too tired but doesn't work!!!! He watches porn everyday tho. I'm really hurt and wonderingly something's wrong?!
November 27, 2012 - 11:18pmMy bf an I been together for 9years hen we met we had sex all the time but now nothin we don't even kiss its not me its him I have to wait like 1 or 2 months if I'm lucky when he's in the mood he only rather get a bj or if we do have sex he looks at tv or don't touch me we get along good as friends but he always says I do love u I cry it hurts inside cus I don't kno wats wrong an he tells me to don't cheat he knows I'm faithful even tho we ain't married help me plz wat to do wat to do
October 30, 2012 - 3:41amMy bf an I been together for 9years hen we met we had sex all the time but now nothin we don't even kiss its not me its him I have to wait like 1 or 2 months if I'm lucky when he's in the mood he only rather get a bj or if we do have sex he looks at tv or don't touch me we get along good as friends but he always says I do love u I cry it hurts inside cus I don't kno wats wrong an he tells me to don't cheat he knows I'm faithful even tho we ain't married help me plz wat to do wat to do
October 30, 2012 - 3:39amLadies i feel your pain. My boyfriend and I have lived together for several months. At the beginning of our relationship he was totally into me and we used to kiss, have amazing sex and loved being around each other. Now when I go to kiss him he turns his head and kisses my cheak, rarely kisses my lips anymore and I have no problem being like "hey is there something wrong with my lips?" He just makes up excuses. We fight all the time because I feel ignored and he feels like Im disrespectful. Im 22 and he's 24 were way too young for these "dry spells" and I feel its much too early in our relationships for us to have lost the spark. I love him, and I always tell him that, but hes never once said it back to me, yet he insists that he cares for me more than I care about him. I am at my wits end with this. Im a sexual person whether its full out sex or even just a steamy make out session. I feel unattractive to him now because of the lack of physical contact. I dont know what to do anymore but its making me miserable in my relationship.
May 25, 2012 - 1:35amThank you for sharing your story Anon. I'm sorry you are going through a tough time.
At 22, it might be a good idea to move on, being in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way is pointless and cruel. Don't do it to yourself, you are supposed to be your own best advocate, not enemy. Picture your best friend going through all this at such a young age. What would you say to her?
Good luck with whatever you decide,
~Susan
May 25, 2012 - 10:22am