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My boyfriend wont have sex with me anymore

By December 17, 2009 - 8:02pm
 
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my boyfriend for over a year just recently stopped having sex with me, its like it went from 3 or 4 times a week and slowly went to not having it for almost 2 months, every time i ask him why he wont play with me anymore he always says i don't know, i didn't want to make it feel like i was bugging him but i guess it just hurt when he said he didn't know? So i kept asking him and then i finally got a response which i just think he gave me so i would stop asking and he just said i feel like your getting bored of me. I've tried many times to tell him that its not really about the sex its about being with him and he still wont have sex with me.. i feel like i'm not wanted or i'm not good enough. I just want to know what the problem is, sex used to be a big part of our relationship and now its nothing.

I know it shouldnt but this is really making me depressed i've been crying more because of this i get mad easly because he just seems like he doesnt care anymore. Also i know he doesn't have a STD or anything else we get checked.

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

My boyfriend of 3+ years and I rarely have sex anymore, I try to initiate and am regularly rejected. This has been going on for approx 2 yrs. I used to have a healthy sex drive, however his neglect over this time has really affected my desire so that orgasming even on my own is difficult. But, this was brought about by a tragedy in his life (losing his mom). She got sick about 2.5 yrs ago, and he was caring for her until she passed early last year. I can totally empathize with his grief and have given him lots of space. I'm not sure what to do at this point - I love him but the lack of intimacy (even cuddling is rare) is having serious effects on my mental health. Does anyone have experience in dealing with grief and depression in their partner? He has not been proactive in healing his own state of mind and he is not very open with his feelings to me, although he does try sometimes. I want to help, he is such a caring man and I love him very much. Any advice is appreciated!

August 22, 2016 - 9:01pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I wanna cry. I'm 21 my boyfriend is 25 and he just rejected me. He's been playing videogames for 3 hours and says he's too tired for sex... We live together, we have a 2 year contract on this apartment, and I seriously think I need to leave, but that would mean leaving him on the streets since I half of everything. I've asked what's wrong, he says he doesn't know, I've asked him if he has any desires, he says no, that he's not a sexual person.

August 16, 2016 - 10:54pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm litterly crying reading all these comments it makes me that much more sad knowing there is so many females who are made to feel this way. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years (living together for 1.5 years) now, sex was never a huge part of our relationship cause he isn't an overly sexual person but when we first started dating it was at least once a week. Since then it can now be months inbetween when we have sex and when we do it's like he dosnt even want to he tell me to take my clothes off zero for play and if I'm lucky it'll last 5 mins. But then theres been a couple of times since we stopped having sex regularly where it's amazing and mind blowing so it's not like he dosnt know what he's doing its like he ligit jusy dosnt want to. I could go on for ever with all the excuses he has given me why he dosnt want to. But the worst part of it all is now he still regularly watches porn and gets him self off on the same night he turns me down for sex. Now for the cherry on the top he expects blow jobs on a RRGULAR basis but not once I will repeat NOT ONCE in has he ever gone down on me and I have full out begged. Everyother aspect of our relationship is amazing so I would feel stupid for leaving him cause of this but I feel like it's all me if he was with another girl this wouldn't be a problem for him.

August 13, 2016 - 3:37am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hi, I was just wondering what your outcome of this situation has been? My boyfriend is exactly the same way. We hav been together a little over a year and about 10 months ago he stopped having sex w/ me. He has every excuse possible. He's even gone to the point of blaming me, saying I'm mean and it turns him off. He watches porn constantly. And he always wants blow jobs. He tells me he loves me and doesn't want anyone else, but I feel otherwise. I know the smart thing to do would be to leave. I was just curious about your situation. I never knew women dealt w/ this in relationships until I was in one myself.

August 24, 2016 - 6:31pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

It is comforting to see other women going through the same ordeal. My partner and I have been together a little over 2 years now and as everyone has stated, the beginning of our relationship was highly sexual; 3-4 times a week give or take.. Now as time has carried on, its more like once a month. I've never been overly sexually active but it has gotten to the point that i'm near begging him to touch me. I'm 22 and he's 20 by the way. As it has been saidby others, my boyfriend is a heavy gamer.. Once he comes home from work, he is instantly at his computer and i'm sitting like an idiot trying to get his attention. When i ask for sex he'd give me a "maybe later" or "Not today, tomorrow" but this has been going on for months.. I try to arouse him but he just ignores it or pushes my hand away from his penis. I feel so insecure and hurt.. I just hope all is not lost.. I can say he has a lot if stresses at the moment but if he has energy to play video games, he should have energy to have sex.. Is he no longer interested? Has our spark died out? Questions I can not answer nor can he give me a straight one.. I feel so freakin' lost at the moment.. I just hope we all will over come this.

August 2, 2016 - 8:07am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

These men maybe Bi sexual or gay this is what happens after a Bi man or gay man enters a relationship with a woman they stop having sex because they are getting from a guy. Try doing some snooping and see what you come up with.

August 13, 2016 - 3:06pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

omg you are living my life!! The past year my boyfriend has been the exact same. He works and comes home and plays his video games until bed. He hasn't been passionate flirty or sexual for months. We barely have sex once every 2-3 months it feels like and when we do it is not exciting or even good sex....I am so depressed it has caused fights. He pushes my hand away from touching him even if it is late in bed and we live alone. I tell him he's handsome and sexy almost daily and I hit on him and he just shys away and changes the subject. I am 25 he is 25 we are both attractive and fit people and we have been dating for years and we finally live together and how can this be so bad! I ask him if he does not like me or love me anymore, am I not sexy? Am I not doing something right? He tells me it is nothing, he is just tired. But how can a young man be too tired for sex with him live in girlfriend for months??? I am so sad just thinking about how unsatisfying your relationship can feel without fun sex. I never had this problem in my life I even asked him if he is gay because I am that bewildered and still no resolution. I am beginning to feel so sexually starved and unwanted it is a mixture of disappointment unhappiness and physical unrest I'm sorry any girl has to go through this with her man.

August 7, 2016 - 2:51am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I feel your pain. I have loved with my boyfriend for 3 years and we used to have sex at least 3 times a day.It is going on 3 months since we have had sex. But he gets a blow job almost everyday. I have accused him if cheating and getting it somewhere else. But he swears he ain't doing nothing but yet there are messages on his phone where he met another woman. But they both say nothing has happened. But I think they both are ling cause they both have too much too loose.

August 23, 2016 - 5:53pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I fully understand and appreciate that I am nowhere near alone. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, but have known him for 22 years. For the first year EVERYTHING was wonderful, than it went down hill faster than a crack whore hooker. It went from daily to every few months at first it was 2 months apart. Now it is five to six months apart. He can't keep it up. I feel like some how some way it's my fault. He gets so angry when I dare bring it up, but he gets over that when he understands I am blaming myself. He is very vocal about it being him, he thinks I am stunning, a great mother etc! But no real sexual contact, we hold hands, kiss, make out like teens but NO SEX, FORPLAY NOTHING!!!

July 11, 2016 - 11:25pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling depressed and unattractive,. My boyfriend of 2 year's has not had sex,make out,no French kisses, no body rubs nothing for over 8 months. He tells me I'm beautiful, and gives me a peck kiss sometimes.. I feel as though he's lost all interest in our love/sex life.. The other day he wanted to cuddle ,what he really wanted was me to play with his ass and a blow job, witch I pleasured him as always I do without.. I find my self crying, mood swings toward him he says in the past 3 day's and when I mentioned lack of sex its like talking to a brick wall.. I'm starting to feel as though when he is ready to have sex with me I will not be interested in sex its been so long since I've had a orgasum . I'm lonely,depressed, unhappy , feel like I'm ugly,fat or just not his type anymore.. He's sweet, helpful,hardworking and makes me laugh I love this man.. I've been faith full all these months I've not had sex.. I wish only for him to make love to me,soft kisses,4 play,full body massage, 69 anything I'm loosing interest in sex all together.. Other men tell me I'm beautiful and that they would make love to me softly.. But like I've told them all ( I love my boyfriend and I'm a faithful women I do not cheat..Please can anyone help

July 4, 2016 - 1:59am
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