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my boyfriend for over a year just recently stopped having sex with me, its like it went from 3 or 4 times a week and slowly went to not having it for almost 2 months, every time i ask him why he wont play with me anymore he always says i don't know, i didn't want to make it feel like i was bugging him but i guess it just hurt when he said he didn't know? So i kept asking him and then i finally got a response which i just think he gave me so i would stop asking and he just said i feel like your getting bored of me. I've tried many times to tell him that its not really about the sex its about being with him and he still wont have sex with me.. i feel like i'm not wanted or i'm not good enough. I just want to know what the problem is, sex used to be a big part of our relationship and now its nothing.
I know it shouldnt but this is really making me depressed i've been crying more because of this i get mad easly because he just seems like he doesnt care anymore. Also i know he doesn't have a STD or anything else we get checked.
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This sounds exactly like my life at the moment. I know exactly what you mean when you say you don't want to lose him but can't keep putting yourself through rejection and humiliation. The worse thing is, we've just bought a house and have a huge mortgage. My daughter, who is 8, has become very close to him and would be equally devasted if we separated. He went to the doctor and was prescribed Viagra but won't take it! And to top it off, we are supposed to be trying for a baby- what a joke! Everyone I know seems to be pregnant and my boyfriend can't even bare to have sex with me. It is breaking my heart, we've lost two babies already, I'm 35, have only one tube and feel like time is not on my side. But we have not had regular sex for such a long time- long before we were 'trying' so I guess I have no hope. I know I need to walk away from this now but I love him so much and will lose so much.
April 12, 2015 - 5:05amThis Comment
Yes i am going threw the same thing. We been togather for years and the sex has always been great. He would want to ALL the time. All times of the day! And Now i cant get him too. I feel so unwanted. Most the time i cry myself to sleep. I hate feeling this way. He is so distant and it doesnt even feel like were togather. Its so sad. All i want is for my man to want me. Everynight he goes to sleep and won't even try to have sex. If i wear something sexy trying to get his attention he ignores it. He will continue to play his games or will just go to sleep. I love him but if things dont change im leaving. I can't continue to feel like this. I try to tell him how i feel but it's like he dont get it. And recently i found out when i was visting my family he was cheating on me. Claims he isnt now but then why is he acting this way?
March 24, 2015 - 3:14pmThis Comment
2 things. Either he is indeed cheating on you or like with most of the people I've heard hear, he is simply bored of the same old same old. That does not mean you btw. No just what you do in bed.
As fun as sex is for a guy doing the exact same thing too much is well repetitive. It's like eating your favourite food. Eat too much too quickly and you will get sick of it. Similar concept with sex For guys at least.
You start of strong because it's new to him (bby this I mean your style, sound and body) but eventually he knows it all. So what do you do when this happens? Try something completely new for him. Something he will never see coming.
By the sounds of it you haven't actually tried forcing yourself onto him despite his opinion at the time. For a lot of guys this can be new enough to surprise him and guys love getting surprised even if they don't always admit it.
He's a gamer right so maybe look at the games he plays and even try to get invested yourself because it's his happy place (trust me it's not that hard especially when kids under 6 do it). It's the same as sharing a hobby in a way. Notice if a lot of his games have unrealistically untraceable women on them (the cover is a good place to start) because that may be the main reason he plays them if so then look at their personality. Mimic it if you so wish.
Remember this is all just some random advice that you do not have to do at all if you don't feel comfortable. I'm just saying things that usually work for the maLe mind. Most gamers want some kind of gamer for a girlfriend (juse saying, totally understandable if you don't like it though, it's not for everyone)
April 7, 2015 - 4:59pmThis Comment
Same boat...we haven't done it in over a month and if i try he's too tired. ..when i met him he was somewhat of a sex fiend and now i can't even force him to...on the rare occasions we do its like hes doing it to just get it over with and its just so lacking and sad...i dont want to end a relationship with someone i love but we are so young and so new in this and for the last half of our relationship it's been this way and continually getting worse. If i bring it up he makes me feel like its my problem and that he is totally content with the way things are...and that if i stopped nagging him about it he'd feel like doing it...even though i only bring it up once I've tried multiple times or its been like a month...its so depressing i have no idea what to do
March 19, 2015 - 3:36pmThis Comment
My husband-to-be is very much in control of when we can have sex, we will go weeks on end not having sex because whenever he comes home at the end of the day(about 7:30pm) and says he's 'tired', but then he will spend until 11pm watching TV and on facebook and I just feel that his priorities are else where. If I try to snuggle up to him on the sofa, he will move away and say that he's busy, but he's actually on facebook. I try confronting him about it, asking if its me, or if he thinks our sex life is boring or if he just doesn't find me attractive in that way anymore, but he just gets really offended and goes off on one saying we will have sex when I stop talking about 'our boring sex issue', which I have only tried to talk about a few times.
March 15, 2015 - 5:37amI don't want to marry into a sexless marriage and I would love to have kids in the next few years, but if it keeps up like this, I don't think it will probably happen. I can't even play him at his own game as it feels like he would prefer it and he always jokes about how I don't put out and stuff and it really upsets me and he doesn't get it. Him making love to me reassures me that he loves me, but because he doesn't take any notice of me, and trust me, I have tried coming at this with every angle, I just get blanked.
I spend most of my day crying because I don't know what to do with myself anymore and if he actually loves me or is still with me as a source of convenience.
This Comment
A friend of mine once said "Show me a boyfriend who won't and I'll show you a neighbor who will" I laughed despite being in this same situation. My s.o. and I had more issues than just sex though. I remained the same appearance wise since he met me but he began calling me fat and disgusting every time we'd have an argument. My self esteem was crap.
This is what ALL men need to realize. We as women can get dick within an hour of being away from you technically speaking. The woman chooses who she will or will not fuck. Men on the other hand have a much harder time getting women to have sex with them. My point is that by rejecting your woman and/or neglecting her needs you are giving her permission to cheat. If it doesn't bother you if she cheats then you can disregard the above but I'm betting that more times than not men expect their women to sit and wait until THEY feel like having sex on their terms.
So in my opinion any man who does this is either
-not caring if she cheats
-purposely pushing her away because he is too scared to break up with her.....he'd rather it be on her.
-is in it for the money,the place to live,the cooking,the Internet access for his gaming and online porn addictions, etc
-he loves you but after watching all that porn all he does is compare you to the girls in porn and physically you don't cut it (very few women do but he is too immature/inexperienced to realize that) Either way again too scared to be real and content utilizing you as a master baton tool when his hand gets old or his fleshlight wears out
Basically if there's a valid issue such as medical or health issues your man would openly voice his concern and be proactively seeing a doctor in order to avoid losing his woman period.
February 28, 2015 - 7:03pmHey I'm not judging on the fact that they prefer porn I'm judging based on the fact that they don't have the balls to be straight up and own their shit. Doing this to your s.o. is a former of mental and emotional abuse. Now if you both started out w sex 2 times a month then the above does not apply but if you suddenly switch up frequency plus rejecting advances you need to be straight up and explain why and whether or not you're willing to change it. Anything less than that then you pretty much deserve to be fucked over and should be grateful if all the other person does is leave you.
And ladies if your guy is pulling this shit on you please don't EVER take it as you are to blame because as you can clearly see online it doesn't matter what you look like....guts do this to pretty girls,hot girls,gorgeous girls etc....
I am writing this as I sit next to the man I'm going to kick out of my house come tomorrow because I have just figured all this out for myself...... I've been being tortured for over 6 months over this stupidity.....not anymore.
This Comment
Right now im laying in bed next to.my bf soon to be.hubby in my sexy pantys and.he.rather play ps4(that i got him). We use.to.have.sex.nonstop, i love everyday.sex lol honestly but now its starting to be.twice a month. I hate twice a month, i.told him im really upset about this and he.says well.should.make a.move but ever.time i do he.says.stop or.his.tired or.spmething so i have given up.on.me.trying so.i.wait and.wait. blahh it sucks
February 27, 2015 - 11:22pmThis Comment
My hubby to be is the same, but he actually has a cut off point of 9pm and even then its crap cus he just has a go at me about wanting sex and he makes me out to be the bad guy in the end.
March 12, 2015 - 11:11amThis Comment
OK ladies, I am a man and want to share my story which is still on going. My beautiful other half and I have been together working on 6 years 3 of those have been living together as well. We are both faithful caring loving and share a really good bond together. We are best friends and spend every minute together. Our sex life is wonderful when it happens. The first 3 years we did it almost every night or atleast 3 times a week. Now after close to 6 years we may have sex once a month or once every 2 months and it is because of me not her. She has asked me why we don't and has told me she wants to and has tried multiple times and I just don't have the want to anymore. This has been going on now for over 8 months. I am very sexually attracted to her and love making love and being intimate with her but am having mental issues which are making me just not want to do it. I stress myself daily asking myself why and what's different. Come to find out it is because of a medical disorder. It had nothing to do with me not wanting to or anything it was a mental medical problem that was going on that everyone will eventually go through later in life and later into your relationship the longer it goes on. So if you truly love your man and know he is faithful and loves you then don't give up on him. If he can't tell you why he doesn't want to then maybe it's because it Is a medical thing which he doesn't know about. I'm sure he probably doesn't like not wanting to himself and is probably being really hard on himself and grieving and depressing and looking down upon himself over this situation as well. Just understand that it really could be something going on medically and that he may just need need you to comfort him and support him to seek help from a doctor and professional. If it's not all medical then even seeing a mental counselor or couples therapy or marriage counseling could be the resolution and resolve all of it. Don't give up and ruin something by cheating or leaving him until you know know for sure what's going on. Thanks for your time
January 22, 2015 - 9:30amThis Comment
Can I ask how old you are?
March 26, 2015 - 7:40amThis Comment