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My boyfriend won't make love to me anymore. What can I do?

By March 16, 2015 - 5:42am
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Hi ladies,
I have a bit of an embarrassing experience to share. My boyfriend and I have been going out for only 9 months, and he won't sleep with me anymore. I love him, and he says he loves me, and is otherwise a perfect partner.
But when it comes to the bedroom, I have tried many things to try and peak his interest again. I wear sexy underwear that he likes (even though I find it uncomfortable!). I go the gym and keep in shape. I'm open to trying new things and do things he likes.

And yet he seems to turn me down 100% of the time now. It hurts a lot, and sometimes its hard to hold the tears back, when I'm trying to feel like a sexy woman, and he says he'd prefer to go to sleep or take a shower. His says he's tired, ALWAYS. This seems to be the main excuse. Yet I know he watches porn on a regular basis- I just don't understand. He said I try too hard and to "let it happen naturally" so I stopped trying and another 3 or 4 weeks went by- nothing.
I feel like I can't start anything sexual with my own boyfriend- I just seem to hit a brick wall every time. I need this in a relationship, for me it makes me feel closer to him, and very loved. I'm starting to feel neglected and even a little depressed about it. I talk to him about this and he just brushes it away by saying, "Why are you making a problem?" or "I'm just not a sexual person. I can't change that."
Any advice you can give me would be appreciated. Help! :(

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Hello naomi24,

Welcome to the EmpowHER community. It takes bravery to share a personal story such as yours, but I am glad that you did. We are here to help and I am certain you will get many responses from our members, who have a similar experience.

I am wondering about something you mentioned, that your boyfriend said, "I'm just not a sexual person." You share that he watches porn on a regular basis. Could he have insecurities or doubts about his own sexuality?


March 16, 2015 - 8:46am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)


He sometimes has erectile dysfunction because I insist on using protection- which he blames it on. I really don't know what to do about it.


March 16, 2015 - 5:05pm
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