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ask: My boyfriend would rather masturbate than have sex with me...

By cdresden
 
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I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and although it has been rocky from the get go, we have managed to stay together and work through our problems. I am a 22 year old with a high libido and i enjoy sex. My partner is 23 and although he says he enjoys sex, lately he has been masturbating a lot. I wouldn't normally have a problem with him doing that but it has gotten to the point that he masturbates, is really tired, and then doesn't want to please me at all. When we first started dating, every time we would start messing around he would tell me that he didn't want to have sex; he wanted to wait. I was ok with that. Then when we started to have sex his excuse to not have sex when i wanted to was he was tired, then later it was because he didn't want to have unprotected sex (birth control makes my hormones go crazy & he can't finish in a condom), and then it was because "i wanted it all the time & i took the fun out of it because i talked about it all the time". But now I'm starting to realize that he has been masturbating almost every day at least for the last 3 months as far as i can tell. He even watches porn on his phone!! When i tried telling him that his actions make me uncomfortable (I've caught him a few times) he says that he can do whatever he wants in his own house and that i want it all the time so he feels pressured...i've never told him he is bad because he is not! he's amazing in bed...i told him that he's great so why feel pressured and he said its because i want it everyday and so i argued that he masturbates everyday, why can't he wait for me to get home so we can have sex or at least masturbate each other to get the sexual release we both want. he said he enjoys masturbating and thats why he does it....I can't get through to him that masturbating is hurting my feelings & getting me sexually frustrated ( I don't like masturbating myself, i believe that if i have a boyfriend we should be having sex or at least masturbating each other)....what do i do??

Add a Comment5 Comments

cdresden (reply to Pat Elliott)

yes thank you soooo much!!!!! That gave me the strength to do what i have to do! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!

March 26, 2010 - 6:58pm
Pat Elliott HERWriter Guide (reply to cdresden)

You're welcome! You're welcome! You're welcome! :-)

March 26, 2010 - 7:00pm
Pat Elliott HERWriter Guide

Hi cdresden - You're not alone in what you're experiencing. Many other women have found themselves in similar situations. I think you'll find the information in the following thread helpful. Pat
(note: bad link removed by Moderator)

March 26, 2010 - 5:29pm
cdresden (reply to Pat Elliott)

I tried the link but it said the information was no longer there...

March 26, 2010 - 5:58pm
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