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ask: My boyfriends has lied numberous times in our 3 yr relationship and says he will tell the truth from now on.. but i still doubt everything he says.. how can i learn to trust him? or what can he do to help me?

By Anonymous November 12, 2010 - 9:56pm
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I know exactly what you are going through. You end of constantly questioning everything until it eats at you. Whatever his lies have been in the past are having a major impact on you now. Even if he told you he'd taken the dog for a walk I'm sure it would be rattling through your brain whether he did or not! Your partner lying to you then makes you question yourself which is not a good place to be. Time and talking to each other is the only way to get through it. But you are not going to be able to change him - However you can change yourself and the way that you look at your future together. It's a hard route and worth it if you have something strong. Just don't waste your time and effort if he's not even going to try. I'm going through the same thing - be strong!

November 15, 2010 - 3:56am
Rosa Cabrera RN

Dear Anon,

Thank you for posting!
Trust and Respect are the nucleus of a relationship. Without these two things, the relationship is ultimately set up to fail. With that being said, if you want to trust him it can be worked on. What I'm concerned about is mainly that he has been caught in a lie numerous times. You can work as hard as you can to trust him, but if he continues to lie then all of your work will be in vain. What are these lies about? Can you give examples?

It's possible for him to gain your trust once more, but BOTH of you have to work equally as hard at it.

I look forward to reading your response regarding his lies.


November 13, 2010 - 7:21am
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