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is my ex dangerous pedophile?

By October 6, 2009 - 12:02am
 
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I am really confused and don't know what to do. I was with my ex on and off for approximatly 6 years, and we moved in together in August 08'. He started sharing some sexual fantasies with me shortly after. He was really into roll playing (me being his young daughter). At first I didn't think it was a big deal as lots of men fantsize about incest. After a while he wanted to do it every night, and would say things like "you can't tell anyone or I'll get in trouble". That escalated into him openly looking at "teen porn" and incest porn. I would find searches on the computer for "young vergin sex" etc. He became more comfortable with sharing this fantasy with me, and started talking about having our own kids and teaching them sexually when they were young. He would even on occasion say "i'm serious about this" or "i'm not just playing".

I left him a month ago because he was also verbally abusive to me when things didn't go his way. The thing that worries me here is that I'm unsure if he would ever turn these fantasies into reality as he does not have me around anymore to do this with. He told me that he had never told anyone about them except me, as he never felt comfortable enough with anyone else. He has a 6 year old daughter from another woman, and I am also pregnant with his child. I don't plan on getting back with him, but I am worried about how serious these fantasies actually are. I am having a hard time with this as it is such a serious issue, and there is no going back if I tell someone. This could ruin his life, and put me in a lot of danger. On the other hand, I feel that if I don't tell someone, his daughter, our child, and other children could be in danger if fantsy turns to reality.

I just need some advice on how to deal with this. As I said, this could be detrimental to him, his daughter, and even dangerous for me; but what if he is actually dangerous to the children??? What do I do????

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Lots of men do not fantisize about incest. You did the right thing by leaving. Have you ever looked into the Fresh Start Foundation? They may be able to help you.

October 6, 2009 - 9:47am

Lumina,

Kudos to you for leaving this man and knowing that there was something wrong with this picture. I am very sorry you've been put in this situation. As sick as his fantasy is to me, I guess this is the reason why they make this type of porn- some have shoe fetishes, toe fetishes, and others have young virgin fetishes. The problem with this is that he didn't just seem to have these young virgin fetishes (I sure hope he wasn't looking for child pornography) but he had a fetish of having sex with his own daughter, which is one fetish I have never heard of unless you are somehow some type of pedophile.

As ill-minded as this may be, a fetish is one thing, but actually thinking about conceiving with you and "teaching" your children about sex at a young age is inappropriate in so many ways. It can actually be a very normal comment from someone who is saying "maybe we should start to talk to our 12 year old about sex" but not for someone who fantasizes about having sex with his young daughter.

I really don't know if what you are looking for is legal advice, seeing as he really hasn't done anything illegal (or that we know of, anyway). If you have seen him looking or engaging in child pornography or anything that you suspect to be illegal, perhaps you may want to contact your local authorities to see what can be done.

Since he has a 6 year old daughter, I think you may want to share this with her mother or next of kin. I know I would not want him near my daughter. What are you planning on doing with your child since he will be likely to ask for shared custody? Are you afraid for him/her? Please seek legal advice about this-- child molestation is not something to be taken lightly.

Please take a look at this site for more information on how to report pedophilia: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/487529/how_to_report_a_suspected_pedophile.html?cat=17

Good Luck, please keep us posted.

October 6, 2009 - 5:22am
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