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My Husband has to draw a Nude woman for his University degree.

By Anonymous March 4, 2010 - 5:02pm
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My Husband is wonderful. He would never cheat, and he even tells me that I am all he fantasizes about. I believe him when he says that he loves me and thinks I am beautiful. I do not think that will change after him looking at another naked woman.

When we started dating in high school, I was the only woman he had ever seen(in person) or touched. We are both each others only sexual partners, and I have never seen another naked woman or man (other than my mother and my husband).

He has already done two nude model drawing classes, the first- a female, he was not expecting and he was shocked and worried about how I would react. I have come to terms with that. The second was a male and he felt more comfortable with that because he had already talked to me about the first.

He is going to have to draw both male and female models again this year. And I do understand that it is just art. And as he says they may as well be just a statue. He has no feelings for them as he doesn't know them.

But I am still finding it hard, now I know in advance, that he is going to be in the same room with a naked women, admiring her body, her curves, drawing her. I keep thinking about it and it keeps winding me up. Then there will be the permanent reminder of yet another women he has seen naked. He will have to look over the pictures, fix them up, and post them on the interned for marking.

I don't know why this bothers me as I know he will take it for what it is; an art class. But I feel that if you have a partner, that nudity is something that you entrust to only them. It is part of what separates your relationship to them, from your relationship to your best friends. I was far more comfortable with the idea of nudity with others, until me and my husband got serious. And I guess it just bothers me that he will be sharing this sacred experience with someone other than me. Which I know makes no sense because it is art, but it is still so raw.

I want to stop worrying because he has to do this for his degree, and I love him and don't want to make him feel guilty. I just can't seem to rationalize it anymore than I have and I can't make this feeling in the pit of my stomach go away.

Any advice or other opinions would be greatly appreciated.

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EmpowHER Guest

Look, as a guy, I can tell you that MY (notice I did not say "ALL MEN," the reason being is I could never testify as to what OTHER men would feel in this situation, only what I feel), that MY body doesn't have an on/off switch when it comes to sexuality. I have never been unfaithful to even a girlfriend let alone my wife, but one of the reasons I have never been is because I try my best not to put myself in situations as described above. I can tell you that in the past, I have noticed that every now and then a girl who has the physical traits I find desirable will walk into the same room at a Christmas party , social event, etc and I have a feeling of physical desire come over me (very temporary, but the feeling was there, and obviously she was fully clothed). I believe this is biology. This is how I am wired. I have never acted on these temporary feelings, but I have taken certain steps to avoid certain situations. I have been to countless bachelor parties where at the end of the night, my then fiancé and now wife has picked me up before my friends go to the strip club. Sure I take a ribbing for it, but I love seeing how my wife looks at me when she arrives to pick me up (my wife does the same for me at bachelorette parties due to her faith}. Once, my wife hired a younger girl to do housework on the weekends (my wife works weekends and my kids are currently in college). The young girl was very attractive and seemed overly friendly. The next day I told my wife she had to let her go. Some might find this on the side of a "Relationship Nazi," but I would rather error on the side of caution. I love my wife, I love my kids and I can't describe the beauty I see in her when she enters the room (it is indescribable, her inner beauty and her physical beauty - the temporary feeling I spoke about above doesn't even compare to this). Sometimes she could be coming home from work, tired and annoyed and watching her enter the front door I have actually cried because what I see in her could never be replicated. From what you describe with your husband, it seems like you have this kind of love. Do I think you have to do what I do or expect your husband to do the same (especially in college for a degree with a class full of people)? Not at all. Just talk to him every day. Assure each other your love is still there and strong as ever, and probably getting frisky w each other are all great ways to know your husband still loves you!

PS - By the way, I suspect your husband thinks its cute and actually makes him feel good inside you are getting a little jealous - I know it would make me feel good as long as it didn't turn obsessive! Anyway, good luck! When he has the degree it will all be worth it!

September 8, 2013 - 12:08am
EmpowHER Guest

Nudity is beautiful and should be admired by everyone. Its only the way you were raised that's interfering with your logic. If he loves you and is loyal its all that matters. I see women that are pretty, women that I might even have the hotts for, but why in the world would I ruin a 16 year perfect relationship with my childhood sweet heart over a total stranger who means nothing more to me then a pretty/sexy pose. Its stupid and would not happen. Trust in him.

May 23, 2012 - 1:31pm
EmpowHER Guest

I am going through the exact same thing right now. My husband and I have only been with each other and I'm the only woman he's seen naked (in person). We're hoping that he gets accepted to BYU Provo's art program because the figure models wear bathing suits. Otherwise he will have to go to another school where the models are fully nude. Good luck, it's just nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this.

May 13, 2011 - 10:26am
EmpowHER Guest

Thank you so much for this post!!! Your situation you described is almost identical to what I am going through. I am having such a hard time with my husband's figure drawing class. Knowing that he knows another womans curves so well hurts me. I'm still not totally ok with this, but I am trying so hard. I really want to support my husband, and I know that without this class he can't get his degree, but I still have such a hard time it. Everyone's comments are so helpful!

January 18, 2011 - 8:42pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I really feel for you. Your situation is a little dofferent though because its for a degree and sounds like its done professionally. I also understand your trepidation with the subject of his art. All I can say is that I hope he's supportive and appreciates your concern. you will need this in the times to come.

January 28, 2011 - 2:17pm
EmpowHER Guest

Just stumbled across this, probably way too late but wanted to add my two cents;

what the people above said is exactly right - and this goes to anyone who feels insecure about their partner drawing nude models - TAKE A CLASS YOURSELF. It will alleviate all worry about the subject. It will probably take about 10 minutes for you to realize, oh, this isn't sexual at all. and then, wow this is hard, no wonder he needs to practice. Figure drawing is simply one of the best ways to quickly improve one's draftsmanship. For everyone saying it is a special or a sacred experience or anything of that portentous stuff i really have to disagree, it's an exercise that develops your observational skills. Ain't nothin personal or sexual about it and this is coming from a young male art student.

As for the woman whose husband takes women he knows home and paints them nude, that's completely ridiculous. There's really no other word for it. ESPECIALLY if he's just a hobbyist. He may say he's an aspiring artist and blah blah, but for him to be this adamant about doing something that bothers you, he better be making some money off of it. If he had a gallery show every couple of months and this is how he made his living, well then maybe he can argue that. But if its just for fun...and make no mistake, if he's not making a business out of it then it is just for fun, even if he says its art - then he needs to rethink things. There are PLENTY of studios that have weekly nude drawing sessions that usually only cost about 6 bucks a night. A studio environment with 20 other artists is WAY less intimate than your own home, and WAY more appropriate for a married person. That's just my opinion though. Does he want you out of the house when his models come over? If i was married and i HAD to have a nude model come to the house (i really cant imagine why i would though) I would at least want my wife in the house, maybe even in the same room if the model was ok with it, so that nothing would be left to her imagination. Again though that's just me.

August 5, 2010 - 12:15am
EmpowHER Guest

Take an art class or join an art group where they draw nude models, after a few session you will see for yourself that it is NOT about sex at all.

June 9, 2010 - 9:00pm
EmpowHER Guest

Instead of judging your husband you should an art class where they draw nude models. You will quickly realize as most artist do, that most nude figure drawing is NOT about sex.

Seriously take up my challenge, give it about 3 classes and you will start to realize this. You will see that there is a separation between nudity and sex. And the art class does become a non-sexual sterile enviroment.

June 9, 2010 - 8:55pm
EmpowHER Guest

Wouldn't it be nice if our partner could just draw us instead? That's the alternative I wish was out there. Am I right when I say that a college art student has to take these classes and is not allowed to "skip it"?

May 30, 2010 - 12:43pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I see no reason why drawing ones partner wouldn't be as interesting. You can get them to dress up a little, or use cloth and drape it, have fun with the new roles.

It's not really sexy persay as your still focused on getting the drawing right, but it can be erotic, and lots of fun!

Me and my hubby tried it, and it's kind of nice having the drawings there, seeing yourself through their eyes, seeing the details they were admiring ;). And still a human body that they can practice from.

May 31, 2010 - 7:47am
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