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We have been married for less than a year and since we got married our sex life hasn't been that good. We have sex on average once a week or once every 2weeks, and most of the time i'm the one asking for it. Before getting married we were in a long distance relationship for almost a year and before that dated for 2 months and had a great sex life. But since our marriage and me moving in things have been going bad on all levels. We were fighting a lot at the begining and this obviously affected our sex life. I tried to discuss this with him but he said that we are both stressed and things will improve. Now i'm pregnant, it wasn't planned but it certainly not helping in our sex life. Just few weeks back i walked in on him while he's masturbating in the shower. I was devastated, it never occured to me before that he could be doing this. I know that he likes to sit in the bath tub for hours and have long showers in the morning but it never crossed my mind that he would be doing something else. He saw how sad i was and told me that he was just getting ready to come to bed and have sex with me. I knew he was lying and felt bad the whole day. Since that day, i'm obsessed about catching him masturbating in the shower. I'm definitely not letting him know that and i'm trying to find a way to make things better for us. I love my husband so much and i know he loves me but obviously he's not sexually attracted to me. Now i'm asking him for sex all the time, and usually he finds an excuse not to and sometimes he feels bad and would have sex with me so i don't feel bad. So basically if i don't ask for sex we don't have it. This situation is really upsetting me and i don't know what to do about it, i can walk completely naked in front of him and he wouldn't notice me. This is definitely killing my self esteem, it hurts so much having my husband prefering to masturbate while i'm very willing. Before we were married he was asking frequently for anal sex and i always refused and now i even suggested it to him and still he's not that interested.
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Add a Comment25 Comments
ALL men? Seriously?
You personally know every man on this planet and every single one of them masturbate? That's a pretty broad statement, considering you're only guessing.
For many of us, a partner masturbating is the same as cheating. Male or female. Maybe you disagree, and you're entitled to your opinion. It doesn't change the fact that many women are deeply hurt by this, and some men as well (no man can compete with a vibrator, etc).
For many, this one issue can be a relationship destroyer.
September 26, 2017 - 11:03amThis Comment
ALL men? Seriously?
You personally know every man on this planet and every single one of them masturbate? That's a pretty broad statement, considering you're only guessing.
For many of us, a partner masturbating is the same as cheating. Male or female. Maybe you disagree, and you're entitled to your opinion. It doesn't change the fact that many women are deeply hurt by this, and some men as well (no man can compete with a vibrator, etc).
For many, this one issue can be a relationship destroyer.
September 25, 2017 - 2:50pmThis Comment
He's gay
February 23, 2011 - 3:48amThis Comment
My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years. We had sex about once a week at first as well... after about 1.5 years we started talking about why weren't as sexual as before we got married. Just talking about it opened up our relationship and made us freer with eachother. WE now have sex 4-6 times a week. My husband has told me that he occasionally masturbates in the shower... and had looked at porn for many years. What I have come to terms with is that he needs to respect me (not look at porn) but I need to respect him (understand he has a male sex drive). Masturbation probably has nothing to do with you. Try and put out a bit more... but also hold your lines. A confident woman is a sexy woman.
January 3, 2011 - 5:51pmThis Comment
It sounds like this problem has a lot to do with stress. New marriage, new living arrangements, new job - or lack of job, new baby... all big life stressors. Maybe instead of focusing on just sex, focus more on cuddling and other things that are not sexual. I do think that you need to tell him how you feel about the masturbating though. He needs to know, wether or not he stops is his choice but he is your husband and should know when something hurts or bothers you.
November 30, 2010 - 12:49pmThis Comment