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My husband no longer wants me

By Anonymous October 3, 2011 - 2:13pm
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Hi. I Really need help in figure out why my husband never wants to be intimate with me. We have been together for almost 4 years. In the beginning we were intimate a lot. Then he got hurt at work, and put on different medications....and things slowly came to a stop. And is has been that way for 2 years now...even anniversaries, nothing happens.....A year and a half ago, before we were married (we have only been married for 2 months) we split up for a while, and I ended up making a huge mistake. I told my husband about it and he has had a very hard time dealing with it. He says that he doesn't think that has anything to do with way we don't have any sexual contact anymore, but he doesn't know. Whenever I try to ask him why...it's always I don't know...I feel that it is because I have gained weight since we first met...and he no longer finds me attractive....especially in that way...to the point I no longer dress or undress in front of him, so he doesn't have to look at me....I feel ugly and disgusting.....but he swears that's not the reason and gets angry when I tell him I feel that's why. We are both 23...which I feel is way to young to have this problem between us. He is affraid that I am going to sleep with someone else because he don't do anything....and I am not going to do that. I want him....but I don't know how to make him want me back. I cry to myself for what I did to him while we were seperated, and for the fact that he no longer wants me and I don't know what to do about it. He's depressed a lot anymore, but doesn' t know if that's why and I don't know how to help him. Whenever I try to initiate something....it always ends with either just me doing something to him.....or being completely rejected...making me feel even more ugly and unattractive. I don't know what else to do, or where else to turn.....I don't want to lose my husband, I want him to know he can trust me that nothing will happen with anyone else, I don't know how to make him want me again, I've noticed old eatting habits starting up again from when I was anorexic when I was a teen. Please help me......

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I believe you need to be patient with your husband. And believe me try to initiate more of a friendship with your husband then slowly but surely your husband will begin talking to you, well what I am trying to say here is that you might have to make a fresh start with him. Get to know your husband all over again. I believe sex should not be the reason that your husband leaves you I believe this should be the beginning of knowing your husband more than you knew him before you both met. And just because you have put on extra pounds that also should not be a reason to not want you any more it is wrong for you to feel unattractive, may be your husband is waiting for you to tell him how attractive he is for you. The key is telling each other how much you love each other even at random times this will boost yours and your husbands ego, start dinner dating or go out for dinner. May be he is not ready to be a dad and scared of getting you pregnant. Sexual guidance councilors could be the answer to the love making again or just the marriage guidance councilors will be helpful for you both or both of them could be better. Well good luck and I hope you find the answers that you are looking for.

October 9, 2011 - 6:44am

I can offer a few suggestions. Make an appointment with your husband's physician. Both you and your husband should meet with the physician to discuss if the medications can affect his libido. Make an appointment with a marital counselor. With the help of a well-trained professional, you and your husband may find the reason for the lack of intimacy. Trust may be an issue. It sounds like you are not happy with your weight gain. Begin by taking control, eat healthy and exercise regularly to get your weight under control. It will be good for your physical and emotional health. You are both so young and have been married such a short time. I think you should both give your marriage a fighting chance.


October 3, 2011 - 4:19pm
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