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my husband says i dont turn him on anymore what do i do?

By Anonymous February 15, 2015 - 2:10am
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i have been with my husband for fifeteen years and he will only have sex with me when he watches porn . he says i dint turn him on and hes not attracted to me anymore. i dont know what to do cause i go ape shit when he watches porn alone. he still stays he could leave anytime he wants but he stays what do i do to turn him on again

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Why feel sorry for this guy? He needs to stop watching porn and be grateful he has a girlfriend/wife who cares so much about him. Porn is disgusting and causes break ups in relationships as can be seen from so many posts in this forum.

February 27, 2015 - 11:20am
EmpowHER Guest

no my point is i have tried everything and after being told you are unattractive being cheated out any person video or not getting ur spouse off in my eyes is wrong i want to know what ot do to bring his attention back to me

February 16, 2015 - 1:50am
Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Unfortunately, neither I, nor anyone else can know what your husband is thinking or the reasons he is not attracted to you any more.  But he must have a reason for this, and in all sincerity, only you can find those reasons because only he can tell you.


February 16, 2015 - 11:38pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to fchacon)

i just want toi know what do ido to make him attracted to me again. he says he doesnt know why hes not attracted to me he just isnt

February 17, 2015 - 4:19pm
Guide (reply to Anonymous)

He may be experiencing a low libido because of something physical such as low testosterone, depression, medication, high blood pressure etc. 


February 18, 2015 - 11:51am

Hello and thank you for sharing your question.  I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this rough spot in your relationship.  i'd love to give you some helpful insight on the matter.

I understand that you feel replaced by porn and resent your husband for watching it, but in order to be reconciled with your husband sexually, you must meet his needs, just as you want him to meet yours. The more the go "ape shit" the more he will distance himself from you.

Its not your fault he is not attached to you; not at all.  But you need to try to understand him.  Porn gives your husband release, a way to escape troubles, a place without judged or failure, pleasure.

His need for porn may be caused by something much deeper than simply not be attracted to you.  If you are able to give him the emotional security and pleasure that porn gives him, then he will naturally return to wanting you again.  I am NOT saying you need to turn into a porn star for your husband. I'm saying the he has emotional needs as well and you need to find out what those needs are before judging him because judging him will only push him away further.

I hope this has helped a little bit. 


February 15, 2015 - 2:11pm
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