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ask: My husband is sick, and I'm frustrated. What should I do?

By strugglegirl
 
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My husband was healthy until two years ago he had his first stroke at age of 38 and discovered he is diabetic. He recovered well then, and we got married last year as we both love eath other and I didn't think his health should be an issue as long as his diabetes is well managed.
However, he had another stroke two months ago, and we went to see many doctors, and found out there are chances he will have storkes again.
Since then, we both feel frustrated and devastated as nobody knows when he'll be hit again and if he can survive. I never feel this way and can not handle it any more. I am 35 and healthy, but lately my blood pressure goes up and I have headache everyday. I just couldn't believe my life will end up this way.

I cannot talk to anyone about my feelings, and I still haven't told my parents about this. My father has high blood pressure, and I cannot imagine what will happen if he knows.
I love my husband, but I didn't expect the price of love is to sacrifice my health or even my parents' health. My husband was healthy until two years ago he had his first stroke at age of 38 and discovered he is diabetic. He recovered well then, and we got married last year as we both love eath other and I didn't think his health should be an issue as long as his diabetes is well managed.
However, he had another stroke two months ago, and we went to see many doctors, and found out there are chances he will have storkes again.
Since then, we both feel frustrated and devastated as nobody knows when he'll be hit again and if he can survive. I never feel this way and can not handle it any more. I am 35 and healthy, but lately my blood pressure goes up and I have headache everyday. I just couldn't believe my life will end up this way.
I cannot talk to anyone about my feelings, and I still haven't told my parents about this. My father has high blood pressure, and I cannot imagine what will happen if he knows.
I love my husband, but I didn't expect the price of love is to sacrifice my own health and even my parents' health.
What should I do?

Add a Comment1 Comments

Susan Cody HERWriter Guide

Hi strugglegirl

Thank you for your post and I'm very sorry that you and your husband are in such a predicament.

It sounds like you have caregiver stress and that you may, in fact, be suffering from anxiety or depression due to the stress you are under.

Caregiver stress is a real thing and affects many people who are taking care of ill loved ones or live with them on a full-time basis.

You can read more here and also contact the Caregiver Alliance site that linked at the bottom - you can't do this alone.

http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/caregiver-stress-impact-chronic-...

Also, talking to your own family about this is a good idea - they may not be much physical health but at least at least sharing this huge part of your life that is having such an impact on you. You can also google for a "caregiver support group" and type in your area.

I hope this helps!

Susan

January 16, 2013 - 2:17pm
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