My husband suddenly can't get off without masturbating

By Anonymous September 1, 2017 - 9:21pm

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My husband and I have been married for 7 years and have 2 children together. Sex has always been easy for us. We are both very open and adventurous sexually and have always been open to trying something new no matter how "out there" it might seem. Until recently we have had a healthy sex life that we both seemed to be very satisfied with. The past few times though my husband hasn't been able to finish without masturbating. Like the past 5-6 times. Nothing I'm doing seems to help at all and it's destroying what little self esteem I have. We tried to discuss what's going on but every time we try he gives me a different reason as to what has been causing the problem which is making it even more frustrating and hurtful. I'm really starting to feel like it has something to do with me that he isn't happy with and like he's afraid to just tell me the truth. I found "evidence" of him masturbating earlier today and though it hurt my feelings, o cam understand that he would probably rather do it himself because thats how sex will end anyway and this way he doesn't feel like he's disappointing me. I just don't know how to get him to tell me what's really going on. I'm open to try anything different no matter how strange, I don't take forever to orgasm, my sex drive is higher than his, and I am always home so availability isn't a problem either. When we have had sex lately he has preferred doggy style (please pardon all of this personal information!) and I'm starting to feel like it's so he doesn't have to look at me. I've always had insecurities about my body that I work very hard at putting aside during sex so as not to be a turn off but it's getting harder and harder to get past them. This is absolutely destroying what little self esteem I've got. I've always been able to say that despite all of the things I don't like about my body I can still please my man bit now even that is going out the window. Does anyone have some sort of insight they could share with me? I'm so desperate for some sort of direction to turn.

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Helena Guide

Hello, Anon.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Women tend to blame themselves but it's likely nothing to do with you. From all you have said, you are willing, patient, and open to whatever he wants. This is likely something he has to work out. Keep the lines of communication open. In time, he might open up about what is going on. I hope others in the community can share their experiences with you.

Helena

September 2, 2017 - 5:02am