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My husband's friend ex ruined me.

By October 10, 2014 - 12:12pm
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About few months ago, this woman is my husband's friend ex. They used to be together and not anymore. Her and i had a huge fall out because i stood up for my husband and asked her politely to take his photos down off her Facebook, and yet, she spat the dummy out. And that's how the whole thing started. Havent really seen this woman for the last six months after the disaster that had happened. I had a Facebook account, and i received a message from this guy who she somehow,connect with forward me all her messages talking about me and my husband. I wasn't happy because she had the guts to say it to this guy and yet not to my face. So i waited and waited , i have to sent her a,few texts messages. She responded to few of my texts messages,and i didn't know that she forward all the messages to her ex,and her ex is friends with my husband. He wasn't very happy COs he didn't want me to texted her in a first place, but im so over playing the soft puppy, and i stood up for myself and say it how it is since no one can but myself to sort the problem out. This,woman is in her 50's and im 24. I thought someone at her age,will know better. What to,do?

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Hi Bala,

Awesome! I am glad you are all passed it!

Take Care!


October 11, 2014 - 1:16pm

Hi Bala,

Thank you for reaching out to the EmpowHER community to get some advice on what to do about this unfortunate situation. 

First thing I would do is sit down with your hubby and clear the air with him. You and he need to be on the same page and be honest with each other. A marriage is at it's strongest when the two people in it communicate about the 'stuff' that is really bothering them. 

Let your husband know that this woman is really getting under your skin and her behavior is not appropriate. You and your husband need to create a plan on how to move forward and do it together.

Without knowing all the details, I can only advise you based on what you have told me and how I think it would be best moving forward.

It doesn't sound like this woman has any business commenting on you and your husband's marriage. What takes place between an husband and wife is exactly that...it's between you two...no one else. Your marriage is private and no one should be meddling in your affairs (unless you invite them into your lives). It sounds to me like you don't want this woman in your marriage and so, it needs to stop. Will your husband agree to this?

If you can both agree, you need to let her know that Facebook and texting is inappropriate and that you would appreciate it if she stopped communicating with you. That also means, that you have to stop texting her too etc.

As for the guy on FB that sent you the messages, you need to let him know too that you don't wish to play in these childish games and would appreciate him keeping whatever information he has to himself.

I know it sounds harsh, but if all this second hand info keeps getting passed around...you are only going to get angrier and more frustrated and the only thing that suffers is the bond between you and your husband.

I know it's easier said than done, but ignore all the drama and try to stay clear of it. Negative and toxic people feed off of people reacting to things. If you don't let it bother you, she'll probably stop and find someone or somewhere else to meddle.

Bala, did this help? What do you think?



October 10, 2014 - 12:31pm
(reply to kristincaliendo)

i have had moved forward from this. My husband cant do,anything about it either.we just have to agree to let go. I am tired of the whole thing, and whatever else this woman mentioned, its,done.
i just allowed things ti unfold in their own way,and mean time, we carried on with life. Thank,you for getting back and for the advice.much appreciated . :-)

October 10, 2014 - 7:55pm
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