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my son and I are estranged,I am 61 ,he is 42,.it started when I divorced his dad when he was 9.his dad was abusive. I took him to councling,he resisted and became angrier ,.his dad rarely visited,sometimes for years.in his early teens he was addicted .ng

By December 21, 2010 - 8:20pm
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Addicted to drugs and alcohol. He became verbally abusive. ,was cruel to our dogs. Had to put him in mental ward for 6mo. He says he will never forgive me.it will often be a year without speaking. I love my son but he is still verbally abusive. I am very depressed over this. I take zoloft.he wants to be together for christmas, its already upsetting me. I feel guilty if I don't but he is so hard to be around.

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HERWriter Guide

maggiemay2 - It sounds like you've been through a lot. It might help to have someone to talk to about this, who can help you sort out your concerns and feelings. If feasible, a trained counselor such as a social worker, mental health professional or spiritual advisor could help. Another option for you, at no cost, would be Al-Anon. Although it was established for family members who are affected by the behaviors of a relative with alcoholism, it is also a very helpful group for people with family members affected by any types of addiction and addictive behaviors. The group enables open discussions, in a supportive environment, about how the addict is affecting the non-addict. You can find more information here:

Your comments seem to indicate that your own health and well-being is being impacted by his behavior. The only person that any of us have the power to change is ourselves, and the best thing you can do is to get some help for your own well-being. When you are on firmer ground it will likely be easier to handle the behaviors you're encountering and your own mental health will be less compromised. Good luck to you. Pat

December 22, 2010 - 5:44pm
(reply to Pat Elliott)

Thanks pat,I really needed to hear from someone. I will try to find someone to talk to.I have no insurance so will have to check around. The holidays seem to be sad when there are family problems. He takes no responsibility for his actions. Seems every thing is my fault and I was and still am a bad mom. Mothers love unconditionally ,but when is enough, enough? I want so much to have a normal living relationship with my son.

December 24, 2010 - 9:14am
HERWriter Guide (reply to maggiemay2)

Hi MagggieMay - Yes, mothers love unconditionally but if you are not taking care of YOU then you aren't any good to anyone else. It's the same principle as the airlines having parents put on their oxygen masks first and then assisting their children in putting theirs on.

Sorry to hear you don't have insurance, as that makes things more difficult. I've found some resources you might try, it may take some calls and persistence, so don't give up. YOU are worth it, and counseling will make a world of difference in your life. Happy Holidays and I hope the new year truly is a "new" year for you.
http://www.samhsa.gov/ (See upper right)
Also do a search with your state name and "free mental health clinics"

December 24, 2010 - 5:13pm
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