my son and I are estranged,I am 61 ,he is 42,.it started when I divorced his dad when he was 9.his dad was abusive. I took him to councling,he resisted and became angrier ,.his dad rarely visited,sometimes for years.in his early teens he was addicted .ng

maggiemay2 - It sounds like you've been through a lot. It might help to have someone to talk to about this, who can help you sort out your concerns and feelings. If feasible, a trained counselor such as a social worker, mental health professional or spiritual advisor could help. Another option for you, at no cost, would be Al-Anon. Although it was established for family members who are affected by the behaviors of a relative with alcoholism, it is also a very helpful group for people with family members affected by any types of addiction and addictive behaviors. The group enables open discussions, in a supportive environment, about how the addict is affecting the non-addict. You can find more information here:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html

Your comments seem to indicate that your own health and well-being is being impacted by his behavior. The only person that any of us have the power to change is ourselves, and the best thing you can do is to get some help for your own well-being. When you are on firmer ground it will likely be easier to handle the behaviors you're encountering and your own mental health will be less compromised. Good luck to you. Pat