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is my stress from the military causing me to not get pregnant?

By March 6, 2010 - 11:24am
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i have a heart shaped uterus, which i know little about except it could be hard for me to get pregnant and to carry a child. i also have horrible periods irregularly every month..i get cramps through out month randomly too. and i dont know what to do. my fiance and i are trying to get pregnant but its just not working.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi again melcody!

I know it's daunting to go into a doctor's office. Sometimes the set up is in such a way that we're made to feel like we are annoying staff (by just being there!) or it's a bit nerve-wracking. The twenty questions we had have now turned into two questions that we squeak out as if we not even sure ourselves why we're there. Those stark, clinical rooms with florescent lights aren't much help either.

What you need to do is something like this:

1. Track your periods as of right now. Every day they start, how long they last. This is so you'll have a chart, so to speak, to show your doctor.

2. Make a list of things you'd like to get more information on:
-Hormone checks
-Thyroid checks
-Examinations for PCOS or endometrosis and other conditions that may be causing your problems. If anything, you will eliminating possible causes so that you can focus on others. Click on both these conditions I just spoke about and feel free to print out the information and take it with you.

3. Chart when you have sex and exactly how long you have been trying to conceive. This is a little clinical, I know, but it will help enormously.

4.Write out your monthly symptoms - cramping and pain, as well as uterine pain when not on you period.

When you have a list and empower yourself, you'll find it a lot easier on you. It will help your self-confidence and you'll walk into that office with a clear head and your concerns at the forefront. You may also get help more quickly as you'll save time by doing your own initial research and doctors tend to spend more time with an empowered patient.

Don't forget to have a list of questions. I nearly ALWAYS forget mine and regret not bringing a list!

Come back and ask for help anytime - we can guide you in the right direction so that you'll be your own best advocate. People who are the most educated about their own bodies are much more likely to receive care earlier and find solutions faster.

We wish you and your fiance the best of luck and please keep us posted.


March 6, 2010 - 5:49pm

i checked out the sites and printed alot of them off so i can go home and talk things over with my fiance. i am going to buy an ovulation test, and hopefully that will help me out a lot.
i have never had blood work taken or anything like that for my period. when i was 16 (when i found out about my ueterus.) the doctor had three other docors and nurses look at my ultra sound they talked to my mom and i explaining the difficulties it could lead to and that was the end of it.. i dont know how to approach the doctors here on my ship..( we deploy every couple months) they say all they can do is put my on birth control to regulate it. but i did that from when i was 13 until 17 and i gained a lot of weight and it didnt help it at all..
i am not sure about getting a fertility doctor since i am on active duty. but i never know how to approach the docotr. Like i know whats wrong and what bothers me but i never know how to explain it. and is it wrong for me to take in the sites of some of the things you have sent me to see if they can see if thats wrong.
i thank you so much for all of your help. and my fiance is greatful to that you are willing to put forth your time to help us in starting a new life.

March 6, 2010 - 2:19pm
HERWriter Guide

Hi again,

I'm sorry, I meant "deployed", not "active duty"!

I'm so sorry your mom died when you were so young and that you are so far away from your family. This kind of stress, in addition to military life is not an easy way of life for anyone. Added your reproductive issues to this increases stress even more.

Invest in an ovulation test kit. It can tell you with a pretty good degree of accuracy when you are ovulating. Then you two can get busy! Read more about how to do this here : http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/what-basal-body-temp-and-how-do-women-use-it-get-pregnant

If you are looking for diet help in terms of conception, click here for an article of ours called Fertility Boosting Foods : http://www.empowher.com/news/herarticle/2009/11/12/fertility-boosting-foods

Also, Melcody, your heart shaped uterus may have nothing to do with your inability to conceive. Have you had blood work taken to check your hormone levels? I think a full evaluation of your reproduction system is in order. You may have endometriosis or some other condition that requires looking into. You may also have polycystic ovaries - are you familiar with this?

Check out our page here : http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/polycystic-ovary-syndrome#definition

Look at some of the symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome - do any connect with you?

Generally, if a couple under the age of 35 has been trying for a baby for one year or longer, it's recommended that a fertility doctor is required. Is this possible for you while on active duty?

Please let me know if any of the information I've given you makes sense to you (in your specific case) and update me on some of my new questions. I know it's easy for me to say "don't stress" but that's a bit silly since you are living through a stressful time in your life. I don't know if this is realistic on your base but try these stress techniques if you can : http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/tips-reducing-stress-your-life

I look forward to hearing back from you-

March 6, 2010 - 1:50pm
HERWriter Guide

Hi and welcome to Empowher!

A bicornuate uterus (also known as a heart shaped uterus) can make pregnancy more difficult (both in trying to get pregnant and during pregnancy itself). It is caused by an inability of primordial bands of tissue to connect together properly and consequently causing the uterus to have an abnormal shape. But bear in mind that many women with this condition go on to have healthy babies!

Irregular periods also make conception quite difficult.

I have a few questions for you-
-I know you are not on active duty but are you still in the military? How long has it been since you left? What kind of military stress have you dealt with?
-Is your doctor aware of your heart shaped uterus? What has he/she advised?
-Has your fiance been checked for his fertility?
-How old and you and how long have to been trying to conceive?

Apologies for the questions but we need more information in order to help you further.


March 6, 2010 - 12:34pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

i am active duty now. I deal with the stress that my mother passed away when i was 17 and i am now 21. So my father is in ohio now where i am in washington state. Plus its all of the other little things that come along with being in the military. My fiance is in the military too so trying to start a normal life along with a military life is very hard.
My doctor is aware of my uterus but hasnt given me any help whats so ever. I have been googling all day about what i need to change in my diet that way i can help this along any way possible.
My fiance has not been checked for his fertility but he is changing his diet too.. I am 21 and have been trying to conceive for almost a year now.
i can never tell if i am ovulating or not because my period comes so irregulary so that puts alot of confusion in this. Its just stressing me out even more not being able to get pregnant, and im not sure what to do.

March 6, 2010 - 1:18pm
(reply to Susan Cody)


March 6, 2010 - 1:12pm
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