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nervous bloating and weird behaviour relating to clothes

By July 12, 2010 - 12:27pm
 
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It sounds so silly. I'm not particularly overweight. I don't like shopping for clothes it makes me really nervy, because I don't find many clothes which I feel comfortable in,I start trying things on but then I always see a fat ugly wrong cow in the mirror, I look like a boxer or middle aged bloke and then right there in the changing room my tummy starts to pertrude until I look about 7 months pregnant. I don't really like things which fit snuggly, it makes me feel sort of exposed, agitated, then i want to tear them off because to me I look and feel supernaturally big in anything fitted and creep back into what my sister calls low self esteem clothes, i'd say baggy, comfortable.Yes they probably are low self esteem clothes, though I like the refuge of them. Its weird because a lot of people say very nice things about me, I have a wonderful relationship with my partner, I don't feel inhibited with him. also when I get up and get ready in the morning to go to work, i don't get this bloated thing. only I do often when I'm getting ready to go to a party or friends. Like I'm absolutely terrified of my friends!! it doesn't feel mentally like I am, only my body just gets out of control and my mind starts beating myself up about how dreadful I look and then bloat-a-rama, I'm massive. i just wish I could get over this, its stupid and gets in the way of life, Iike I have an awful secret that Im not normal

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hmmm, could be mimicking, but its very real, and weird. happened just now when I tried on a t shirt I'd managed to buy, my daughter (11) said, that's hilarious. it is weird. not life ruining, only Im determined to conquer it! I'll do some research-got to take a 4 day break wi th a load of teenagers. my room mate is a former nurse, she's very wise, I have a theory the more people I tell, the less power the weird will have, there's nothing like a secret to keep you doing weird things!yes therapy is something I am facing over a bit of a post traumatic relationship from the past, so I can address it then. thanks, hope I didn't sound like-hey, I've done everything before

July 14, 2010 - 1:03pm

hello, thanks for your reply. I don't mean - really don't mean- to be difficult or sound like a know it all- cos I don't- only I do all the things you suggest. I don't go shopping unless I am out of clothes. I am surrounded by wonderful friends and avoid thinking about my body. I do very positive activities, i walk the dogs every day. A while of stopping shopping for me has been 4 or 5 years now.I'm actively involved in high quality music making. I needed something to wear to perform in, I looked like a tramp!i eat an extremely healthy diet and always have. the doctor last summer suggested I do indeed possibly have a distortion in body image or B.D. due to slight ocd tendencies. she said that, since I applied my mind over my complusions earlier on in my teens,and mentally suppressed them, and cured them that, as really makes me laugh cos its so true, the 'weird will find a way out' in another guise. This seems logical to me. Only this question on here was part of my research and attempt to cure it, as I analysed what the exact things which cause me fear in public, the symtoms I get, and from there I want to either calm myself down by understanding other people are familiar or suffer it themselves(which normalises it for me in my head and therefore takes away the fear)(and therefore therefore maybe the symtom itself??!?)
thing is, it is not imagined, it is a real, sudden, quite weird and horrible symtom. Its not that I think my tummy grows enormous- it seriously expands and goes very hard and there's not a thing I can do about it until I calm down having got out of there. My daughter has witnessed it- and, bless her, proudly told my partner in a loud voice- and MUMMY"S TUMMY WENT HUGE COS SHE GOT NERVOUS- thank god I am surrounded by a loving lot with a sense of humour! I just wondered if anyone else had experienced huge tummyitis as a stress symtom?

July 14, 2010 - 10:01am
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