Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest

No Erection in New Relationship Fix?

By Anonymous August 23, 2016 - 5:44am
Rate This

I have just started a new relationship with a man I have known for many years. He has admired and desired me for over a decade and I started developing feelings a couple of years ago. We're so happy together now.
The only problem is he's never been able to keep an erection. We've tried a dozen times to have sex but at every stage he's just gone soft.
He's told me this has never happened to him before. I know logically that he finds me attractive; a lingering hug can produce an erection. But we haven't been able to have sex or even maintain foreplay.

Sex is not the most important thing but it's a level of closeness we both want. He's ashamed I think, and even though it's hit my self-esteem hard I've been outwardly calm and supportive. But It's really getting us down.
He's a little overweight, smokes and enjoys alcohol but he's in his mid-20's. This keeps happening over and over and over... I'm not putting any pressure on him and doing my best to make him feel comfortable and desired without preformance expectations. How can we fix this?

Add a Comment1 Comments

HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon!

Thanks for your post!

Much of erectile dysfunction is psychological in nature. Your boyfriend needs to talk to his doctor about this disorder and see what can be done. Sometimes a combination of medication and therapy works best, sometimes just therapy alone will work. He can discuss this with his doctor. If it's a physical issue, then he may need an exam and testing.


August 23, 2016 - 5:53am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sexual Health

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Related Checklists

Sexual Health Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!