ask: No sex? Porn? Masturbation? Whats going on?

Hi miamiamia

Thanks for your post! Your situation is commonly seen here on EmpowHER, unfortunately.

It seems like your boyfriend might have switched you for a cartoon. It seems like animated cartoon bothers you but "real" porn does not, is that correct?

Porn is usually completely unrealistic although the very graphic forms are pretty unsightly to look at, as opposed to others that can aesthetically pleasing. I'm not sure what you are both into (and details are not needed) but it seems that he has substituted you - a real woman - for what he sees on animation and models/porn actors and actresses on- line. It seems that he may have an addiction. This happens quite commonly and as "sexy" and "available" as the real partner is, it's to no avail - the addiction and images win every time.

He does not appear to want to change OR he's not really getting the idea that there's a problem in the relationship. It's beneath you (or any woman) to have to beg for sex or attention (which is what's happening here, by flashing, sending dirty texts and making sexual advances - and being rejected most of the time.) No woman should have to do that. His interests seem to have shifted and no matter what he says (the good stuff) his actions say differently.

I also think his depression and/or medications may be working against him. Depression medications are often instrumental in causing a lack of libido.

For more information on this, click here for more information on this topic, including treatment, counseling, causes etc: http://www.empowher.com/condition/search/porn-addiction

and for real life stories of other women in your same situation, click here: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/boyfriend-masturbates-even-though-...

and here: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-...

I hope this helps. Counseling can really turn couples around so don't feel like there is no hope! I hope he is willing to at least discuss it. Thanks for writing!
~Susan

thank god for friends.