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ask: partner doesnt seem interested in sex/hanging around with me as much

By K1990
 
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me and my partner have been together for nearly 2 years and have been living together for 1 year. when my partner is happy, the relationship is wonderful, i love it and we basically cant keep our hands off each other, however (and this is occuring more often now) there are times when he just doesnt seem interested.

he constantly says that im not doing enough, that he feels like im the one not interested, so i have changed started showing it more (got stressed with uni work and bills etc) so i made sure i spent a couple of hours a day to just me and him time.

he constantly says we are fizzling whenever we dont have sex, but yet everytime i bring it up or try to surprise him, he just comes up with some excuse 'im tired' 'ive had a hard day at uni' or the best 'im in a middle of a raid, after this' (hes a bit of a game nerd - one of the things i love about him!!!).

but he still isnt happy, ive talked to him about it, saying he cant except me to keep on trying and then blaming me when im no longer in the mood after having to wait for him to finish his game or for him to finish havin a moan about something.

i know he isnt happy with his weight (he put some weight on before we had met) but it doesnt matter how much i tell him, i love him, i dont care (he isnt fat, little but chubby but he just looks more stocky than fat) he wont listen to me.

he also never seems to listen to me or take my advice but the second one of his mates says excatly what i said, he listens and does it. kinda get the impression he prefers hanging out with them than me!!!

i personally feel that our sex life getting less and less is because of his obsession to porn, he has lots of pics of half naked porn stars, girls he gets from these websites, even though he keeps lying to me saying he doesnt, then when i catch him looking at them (he looks at them whenever im out the room for longer than 5 mins - showering, shops) he gets all sulky and moody. i know he watches it, ive made my feelings prefect clear, and he has said he would delete the pics (although i know he wont, but will say he has) and we had a massive agrument as it looked like he was signed up to a dating site that basically promotes one night stands, although he told me that someone must have used his email address to sign up (still struggling to believe that one)

I dont want to leave him, i love him, have a mnt little place with him, a life basically but am at a lost over what to do, i dont have anyone to talk to, as all my friends and family know him and think hes wonderful plus some of them are very judgemental and will instantly think the worse!!!! please some advice on what to!!!

thanks

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Maryann Gromisch RN Guide

I can only imagine how you must be feeling. To love someone but not be loved in return. Regardless of what your boyfriend tells you with words, his actions clearly tell you that he is no longer interested in you or committed to a relationship with you.

As you have shared, he is more interested in playing video games, hanging out with his mates and viewing porn.

It appears that this relationship cannot be saved. Though it will be hard, it would be best if you moved out and started life on your own without him.

Wishing you only the best because you deserve it.

Maryann

March 2, 2012 - 5:21pm
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