Picture ruining the relationship.

Amazing advice. He did it once for a stupid reason, as he was just curious as it was a celebrity but if it happens again, there will be no second chances. Or will he do it again? He swore it was the once and always will be.

The other poster said "he is trying to change me and he says I am trying to change him." The truth is dear, you cannot change anyone but yourself and neither can he.

YOU have to decided what you can and cannot live with and accept. You cannot make him give up the pics but you can decided to let him have them and move on or you can say it isn't going to be a happy relationship with him doing this, and leave. He is not going to stop and the sooner you realize this, the better off you will be.

Can you be happy in a relationship where you always feel hurt, sad, and mad because you know he is looking at other womens naked breast? If you can stop your emotions and be happy, go for it. But, if you feel like it will always hurt and anger you, then there is going to be constant strife between the two of you. Is that love or happiness?

You are not too old to find happiness with a man that can love YOU and not a bunch of images found in a magazine or in a puter. These men are sick. they may seem perfectly wonderful in every other way but if they cannot stop looking at other womens breasts, something is wrong. ALL men DO NOT do this, regardless of what some say. Some men loves their partner and would honor any request that is reasonable, and yours certainly is, to make their woman happy and to live in peace and have a strong and healthy relationship in every way, including sex.

It is difficult I realize but only you can decide what you will put up with. Women out here are leaving these relationships because of this every day. No, it isn't easy and it hurts like hell to walk away from the man you love, but time will heal that also, and one day, when you find that man who will love and desire YOU, you will bo so glad you moved on. Please don't wait as many years as I did. I spent too many years being yelled at each time and ordered to stop crying because I was only doing it to myself by snooping.

Since the whole picture thing has happened with me and my boyfriend, things have gone downhill and I just feel like I am chasing him now and he just doesn't care any more. It's hurting me badly as he used to think the world of me. He says he was just a controlled mug. I do not deserve things like that though and if I did see another pic, that would be it. I've told him it upsets me when he reads lads' mags at his mates' but he won't stop as he said he's not looking at the models.

Thank you Susan.
For the sake of other women who are living with sex addicts or just men addicted to looking at naked women, I want to share some of the list of folders I have found containing pictures, over the years.

Where to order Redwing work boots
How to order firetruck equipment
Parts for restoring old cars
Everything about wine presses

I never found parts, boots or wine pressers in any of the folders, only naked women.

An addicted man, or woman, I suppose, will stop at no lengths to keep their nuddies, and keep you from finding them. If you suspect your husband has them but cannot find them, just check out his favorites link and open each and every link no matter what it is named and if he is a closet perp, you will find what you are looking for.

God this is so hard, I love the man so much. He has many fine qualities. He always treated me so good and loving in every other aspect of our marriage, there was nothing he wouldn't do for me if he could. Never yelled at me or called me a name but the minute he realized I had found a new picture, he would go completely insane, calling me horrible name, threatening me, telling me I was no good. There were times he even accused me of putting those pictures on his computer so I could blame him. What kind of wife who loves her husband and just wants to be happy in their marriage, would do something so hurtful and cause such pain for both of them? I hurt so bad that I have to keep picturing those woman just to keep myself from going back to him, Oh, god, how I wanted to believe him.

Oh my god, anonymous, your comments could be from me! There are age factors that differ however. My husband is 71 and I am in my late 60's, married 38 years and he still wants sex several times a week. That is where the differences end.

Same as your husband, mine has hidden it then sworn he thought he destroyed it all. He has put it in different folders and swore he forgot they were there. He has had them in his email, opened, and swore he didn't open them yet he is the only one who has access to his computer.

And you mentioned rage, oh yes, there have been times he has gone completely off the deep end when I have found his ladies, and I use the term ladies vvery lightly.

These men apparently are not smart enough to know if they were innocent or if they understood how much they have hurt us and really want us to believe them, they would instead comfort us and reassure us that it really is not something they knew about, but the rage is a very good indication they have been caught again and they are about to lose even more of our trust.

I have already files for divorce because I cannot live with not knowing if every time he touches me, it is with visions of these women in his mind. It has nearly destroyed me, my self confidence, my mind. I had to get out.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. If like me, you have wanted very deeply to believe his lies. I've turned myself inside out trying to believe that all of these were no more than coincidences that he was not responsible for, but after so many times, you just know. I mean, how many times have you turned your computer on and found such crap? None right? Because you didn't put it there. And then there is the sex, he prefered sex over lovemaking too and yes, the porn talk, he used to use it too and it literally made me want to jump out of bed and puke. Towards the end, I got to the point of tensing up when he even came near me. It was not fair to him so I needed to let him go. There are women out there, whores, who would love to join in the fun and games with him and I do sincerely hope he finds one, but it is not going to be me.

I put up with this all of these years because I believed he would eventually get old enough that he wouldn't be interested in sex, but at 71 and still viewing and wanting sex several times a week? No, he is sick and I just cannot go on any longer. I hurt for him, but not enough that I could have stayed one day longer.

That above comment was from me.

My husband always has some naked ladies on his computer, either saved in files or in email. He has even hidden them in files under less suspecious names so I won't find them. When I find them, it is always the same story, he didn't know they were there. When I pull them up and show him, he flies into a rage; I don't trust him, or I don't beliefe him that he didn't know they were there. It always comes back that I am hurt and sad because it's my fault, not his, "if I didn't snoop, I wouldn't be hurt." That was a final straw for me. Then he tells me, if I can't trust him then we have no relationship. How do I trust a man that has this stuff there off and continually, yet swears he doesnt know?

We've been married about nineteen years and I cannot have sex with him any longer. Just the thought of him viewing naked women and then using me to get satisfied just makes me physically sick.

I have always wanted lovemaking in our relationship but for him it's always been sex, always wants oral sex then intercourse. No kissing or holding, just porn type sex and its over. He also uses porn language with me during our sex and it is such a turn off I cannot take it anymore.

I love him with all of my heart and I seriously think I could take physical abuse over his sick addiction to naked women.

I know there are those who think men will be men, but when a wife tells her husband that he is hurting her and that she is seriously considering getting a divorce and he still won't quit? That tells me that he cannot give up it up or it is more important to him than losign me. I'm going to file for a divorce.
Sleepless in Seattle

We are still together but we have made a compromise - no going looking for images, if his mates show him or if there is one in a mag he is reading or on a website, fine. But no typing in names in Google and saving images on his computer. And I think that my feelings should be more important to him than his sily urge to be 'curious'. Thank you for your help.