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Q: 

PPD and emotional abuse

By Anonymous September 28, 2015 - 4:49am
 
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I am 27 years old and had babies of gap 14 months and via csection. My pregnancy and delivery were complicated and hated myself to the core. I slipped into depression when my second baby was 2 months. Now they are 2 years old and 10 months old
I am working too. The strenuous 2 years took heavy toll on my health physically and mentally, leaving me with a wide hernia and ab muscles split badly.
My husband is more hell bent on seeing me sad. If he sees me laughing and enjoying he just ruins it by fault in me. Making me feel a bad mom and bad wife, though i know i am giving my best he does this daily. I hate going to my home after work, only my babies smiles keeps me going.

He makes me feel i am dumb. Inefficient. Idiot. Irresponsible. He was brought up by his stepfather and his mom. His mother keeps reminding me that i am lucky to have my hubby alive unlike her. I mean she is actualy saying her son is lucky he is alive. Then he tries to say to say that his mom managed 2 kids at such young age being a widow etc. I respect that but it doesnt mean just bcoz she was a widow i am also supposed to live like a widow with a living hubby.
He is the one who is irresponsible as a husband and father. Yet the way he says it and makes me feel i am a loser. Whyýyyyy
I hate this life. I am giving my best. Buttttt... somedays i want to run from all this. Or even better let go of all this and leave forever.. hie emotional abuse is killing me. Cant go on..
I want to say more but words are less to describe my feelings

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Maryann Gromisch RN
Empowered
Guide

Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER. I am glad you reached out to our community. Sometimes, just being able to express your feelings without being judged or ridiculed can help lift your spirits.

Though I do not know you personally, I feel confident saying that in no way are you a loser, nor should you feel grateful to have a verbally abusive husband, or feel inferior. You deserve to be loved and respected. Your children need you.

I realize how difficult it must be living this way and how hard it would be to leave. But, your physical and emotional health depend on it, as does the health of your children.

Anonymous, do you have family of your own, such as parents or siblings, with whom you and the children can move in with? Is there a close friend whom you can move in with until you get on your feet and afford a place of your own? Does your church or local community have a shelter for women and children who are in an abusive environment?

Please, feel free to communicate with us.
Maryann

September 28, 2015 - 8:09am

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