I have been on and off in communication with you throughout my relationships since last year around this year when I was struggling with two relationships, which I have since moved on from. I am also in a much better position now pursuing my career goals in Canada. I moved here early in Fall and for my second M.A. and will be applying for Phd Programs in Canada this Fall. While I moved there, I had joined eHarmony while I was working and talked to a lot of people until I met the guy whom I am currently dating or rather am on a break with now. Its only been two days. We began to talk officially in May and things were going really well until now. We have similar life journeys - he has lived in India, visited places that I lived in and could relate and was even in CT, Wisconsin, and even Chennai where I was all the while. Unfortunately and most recently, we had been having repeated arguments over when our families would meet. Traditionally and also what I had wanted was the first meeting of our families so that we could officialize our relationship but most recently, our discussions have been turning into misunderstandings and wrongful accusations. My mother also finally called his mom a second time and things she said were misunderstood by his mother. While I do care for him and I know he definitely loves me, I am having strong doubts and my mom has advised me against it now that we know that when stress levels rise high, both him and his family might turn against me. He is also a very private person versus my family and I who tend to be an open book and are honest about everything. It is not to say that I have not contributed to our relationship's sudden stall which led to a break. I am just now confused and not sure what I should do. I am in the right place in terms of my career, I know which direction to take and next months will be make or break. I have a supportive advisor who wants my success (touchwood) and I will be fine. However, since I am pursuing women's studies, he even led me to believe he was open-minded and accepting even proud because he understood human rights and equality but when we were having our last argument, he even accused me not being moderate (which I am) and being unsupportive and not adaptable when I have accepted many things of his life including his sister who is mentally unwell and was willing to learn how to care for her. I am really shaken and not sure what to do. I am tempted to follow the advice of my mother but want more advice and believe that I am doing the right thing on my accord.
I am also 26 years old while he is 32 and the youngest in his family. Both of his sisters - one who lives at home with him and the other one who is separated from her husband of 15 years- are also there. I thought things were going well. Somehow though despite the fact that he loves me, I just feel like I don't want to marry someone on the account that they just love me but i thought marriage is something in which two people support each other. I was taken aback when he immediately questioned me and did not believe me on something that I had not done.
All our happy moments have boiled down to negativity and failing. He and I both decided on a break for 4 days before we resume discussion and resolving the issues because he wanted this relationship to work. However, my parents are not happy with what he expects from he. He even told me to put him above my family (which to some extent I respect) but I have been raised to view all families equally. I viewed him as a part of not above and I am not sure if I feel comfortable about this expectation. I have to call/text him tonight and I know its last minute but I would really appreciate a response sooner!
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