My husband died a few years ago, after a marriage of almost twenty years. I met someone about nine months after his death, and have been seeing him for the most part since then. So often I wonder if this is truly what I want. At first, it was definitely what I thought I wanted. He was quite a challenge to understand and often left me feeling unwanted. The sex between the two of us was great for about six months, and has only trinkled down to virtually null. I was always the one to initiate the sex,a nd did not have a problem with it then, but it has come to the point where I have no desire to inititate, so as a result, there is no sex. Even when I was the one to make the effort, many times it would not happen. He has just recently started taking antidepressants ,which I think he has needed for some time.
On another note....I met someone several months ago and he and I become involved after about one week. I found him so sweet and attentive. I did not tell him about my boyfriend at first, and it just so happens he did not tell me about the woman he was living with at first. After about two weeks, we both told one another about the other. He called and texted me daily, and could not wait to see me when he could. In fact it had gotten to a point where I could not wait to see him either. His girlfriend was questioning him and he basically decided he did not care about the two of them and wanted to be with me. He asked me to go with him to look at a condo to rent so that he could move out. I told him that I needed more time to tell my boyfriend because I was very concerned about hurting him. He was very understanding and patient. He said the situation where he lived was getting very intense, and that he would have to start getting his things together and making a move, because he knew it was not right to continue to see me while he was with her. He also told me that he was falling for me, and showed this in so many ways. I can honestly say he was craZy about me.
One day he returns home and finds all of his personal belongings thrown in his boat in front of her home. So he called me, and decided he would go to a friends, he was very upset with her for doing this. Anyway that evening my boyfriend had already planned on coming to my home to see my daughter off to college. This did not go over very well, because he said I should have been available to speak with him that night. I was very torn that night, and did not want to lie to my boyfriend again since I had been making excuses not to see him for about three weeks. I was going to end it, but I was afraid to,for more than one reason. One because I did not want to hurt him, and two, I was afraid of maybe being alone.
Anyway, he used this against me and went back to his live in girlfreind, or should I say she allowed him back in her home. He has never really explained this to me. All I knew was that he cared for me very much, and said he did not a see a future with this women that he lived with for about ten months. I have not seen him in four months and have only emailed him a happy birthday, and Holiday Wishes. I never let him know how much he hurt me, and he does not know just how much I still think of him. Was I so very naive with this one, or could he have motives for staying with her?
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