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By Anonymous December 8, 2011 - 12:19pm
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I want more sex in my relationship..we have been together about a year and a half. He says he is just not that into sex anymore..he gets mad when I bring this up. He is 38..he has alot pains and aches from being in a car accident. He told me in the beginng he isn't that sexual..or affectionate. I am very sexual and affectionate. I love him..I dont want to leave him, but it makes me feel like he isn't attracted to me anymore..he says he is. I feel like an idiot throwing myself at him all the time and getting turned down..I think it has lowered my self-esteem. I think we may spend too much time together or something. Is there anything I can do..or should I just be happy with what I get and when????

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your reply, I'm sorry it wasn't answered the way you'd prefer.

But with regard to your questions at the end of your first post - I do think that you need to accept things the way they are and go along with your boyfriends needs/wants. Things might change down the line but for now, just be there for him when he needs/wants you and accept the relationship the way it is.



December 11, 2011 - 9:53am
HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for this post!

If you knew from the beginning that he's not particularly into sex, nor is affectionate and you are the opposite of that, then you probably were not a good match in the first place and would be better off as friends rather than romantic partners.

Stop throwing yourself at him, it's humilating and you know it doesn't work so doing that will only make you feel more lonely and unwanted.

You need to make a decision whether you are ok with the relationship being as it is, since it doesn't look like it's going to change. If you are not ok with it (and it doesn't seem like you are) then you may need to reevaulate your place in his life and the life you want for yourself.

I'm sorry you are in this position, it's a tough place to be but happiness is important - yours included.



December 8, 2011 - 12:27pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

I said I do not want to leave him...I didn't ask about whether or not we should be together..the question I asked was not answered...I regret wasting my time even putting myself out there even asking. Do you guys not read the whole question or what?? That is a bullshit answer!!

December 9, 2011 - 4:44pm
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