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Sex Fetish and Masturbation

By March 22, 2011 - 5:01pm
 
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I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now, and i never had a problem until recently. He has a diaper fetish that im not into what so ever, but i do it for him because that is what turns him on. But he seems to want to do it EVERY TIME. He knows that its not my thing, and doesnt turn me on. I have explained to him what gets me going, and what i want, but yet he seems to think that i am ok with doing this every time because i act like i am really enjoying his fetish (i do this so he really experiences his fantasy, who wants to have sex with someone who is obviously not interested) I play along with his fantasy. Thats what you do when fulfilling a fantasy. But i have repeated told him, even tried to take control in bed, thats the only thing that gets him off, and even then it only lasts about 10 minutes or so, if i am lucky. I started to get a little self conscious after he kept giving me excuses when we ran out of diapers, like im tired or i have a headache... classic right? So i started to look in the history of the computer and found diaper fetish porn. And realized he was doing this every day. I have a very high sex drive, and not to be conceded but i am a very attractive woman and have never had this problem before. I confronted him about what i had found on the internet, and asked him why he would rather masturbate then have sex with me, because it seems to be that way. He denied it up and down. But i have to really beg him to please me. And then after begging and convincing, its not great because i feel as though it is forced and he isnt doing it because he wants to. I just wish he would because he wanted to, not because i had to bed him. He knew from the get go that making love was important in a relationship and he highly agreed, this was never a problem until about 6 months ago. I really cant take it anymore, and im getting to the point where i day dream about having quickies in the elevator at work with strangers. Help?

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sex should be something you can both enjoy, you should think about if its worth saving porn can do harmful things when one relies on that to get them off rather than getting pleasure from his/her partner

March 26, 2011 - 1:53pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

It does indeed sound like your partner has a fetish.
People generally do NOT become unattached to their fetish, ESPECIALLY if they don't want to. Stop giving him double messages by pretending to like this activity. If you value sex, and this fetish doesn't satisfy you, it makes no sense to continue the relationship.
There is NO reason to think that his fetish has anything to do with your attractiveness or loveability. It's about him, not you. Your job is to move on without making either of you wrong. That's a challenge, but it's the healthy way to end the relationship.

March 22, 2011 - 8:02pm
Guide

To be very frank, your boyfriend is aroused by his fetish, porn and masturbating and not you. You are not getting satisfaction from your relationship with him. There are two options:
If you really think the relationship is worth saving, both of you need to get professional couples counseling.
Otherwise, end the relationship and find someone that you can have a fulfilling relationship with.

March 22, 2011 - 5:31pm
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