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Sex Life

By June 22, 2009 - 7:42pm
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year now. Everything was going good we was having sex all the time and do stuff to each other. Everything started going down hill when he gots his kids. He has had his kids for 1 year now and we have not sex sents he has got them. And I'm getting a little mad because he thinks I don't matter and I don't have feelings. He said the reason why we don't have sex is because he doesn't want more kids. Well why does he have to take that out on me because he has kids. I'm not asking to have sex all the time, I just want it more often then none. I don't want to leave him because I love him with all my heart and I'm not looking for a new boyfriend. I just want my boyfriend and I sex life back.Can anyone help me?

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HERWriter Guide

Hi JeffreysGirl

Thanks for your question and for finding Empowher!

There could be many reasons why your sex life has dwindled. I assume when you say your boyfriend "has his kids" is that he has custody of them now? Perhaps this has made him a lot more tired than before he has custody. Kids can be exhausting, I can attest to this!

However, I'm not sure why he is saying that he doesn't want to have sex in order not to have anymore kids. Was he not aware that he had children? Or, since he now has custody and realizes how hard it is, does he not want to add to his family?

This could be solved pretty easily if you both agree to use birth control vigilantly. Most people are finished having kids at the age of about 40 but are still fertile. It doesn't mean everyone over 40 stops having sex!

What kind of birth control are you currently using? Is he against condoms? Or would he consider a vasectomy, if he is absolutely sure he doesn't want more kids?

Are YOU sure you are ok that he will never have children with you?

June 24, 2009 - 1:48pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

yeah he has custody of them now. he never had his kids until his baby mama messed things up. i mean i'm not blaming the kids cause it's not their fault. sometimes he says he wants another kid then i ask him about it he says no he doesn't want anymore kids that three is enough. we was aware that he had kids but he not sure if they are his kids or not. it's long story.. i was on birth control but he told me to stop taking them cause they was making me sick and everything. and for the condoms he said that they break.. we still do stuff to each other, it's just that we don't sex anymore... i don't want any kids right now cause his kids kinda did that to me..they are handful...

June 24, 2009 - 4:52pm
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