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Should I be worried?

By April 6, 2011 - 9:03am
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I am 23. My fiance and I have been trying for a baby for just over 21 months. My cycle has always been all over the place. So for the past two year I have been tracking it. It can range anywhere from 16 to 31 days so it's a by of guesswork as to when my period is due. And as for fertile periods, we just have sex as often as we can to have greater chances. Last month, when no period had arrived after 31 days I got a bit excited. Unfortunately 3 days later my period came. I always have bad cramps, tender breasts and am very heavy. My period always lasts 4 days.

This month was different. 31 days came and went. 5 days came and still nothing so I took a test. Was negative. Day 8 still nothing. Negative test. Day 10 and I has excrutiating cramps which left me in bed for the day with a really heavy flow. Now I still don't have my usual signs and the flow has all but stopped!
I have a several quite severe mental health conditions which means I can rule out stress as a cause because stress has been a way of life for over four years now.
I really don't know what to think and am too scared to go to a doctor for fear they will tell me it's 'normal'. It clearly isn't. But is it cause for concern?

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Madsheep

Thanks for your post and welcome!

Firstly, four years of stress is not "a way of life" in the way you mean - that you've had it for four years so it couldn't be affecting your cycle and your body is just used to stress.

Our bodies don't become used to stress, even if we think they do. Stress has very long term effects and can actually shorten life and take away what quality of life we do have. It affects our sleep (amount and quality) and has been linked to heart disease and cancer. Stress can also change our menstrual cycles and this may be what's happening with you, at least in part. Don't think of stress as being a part of your life that you're used to. Long term stress is an attack on your body that you need to rid your body (and mind) of. And if you are under this kind of long term stress, having a baby can make it all worse, so get yourself into treatment before getting pregnant.

For a person under 35 like yourself, you should be trying for a baby for 12 months before seeing a doctor. Since you are well past the 12 month stage now it's time to see someone. You will need to have a full check up (including your hormones) to see if there is something that's going on that's causing infertility. Your fiance will also need to have his sperm count checked as he is as likely as you to be the reason for infertility.

Don't allow any doctor to tell you this is normal because it's not, as you said. If you are not happy with your doctor, find another one. You are nearly two years into trying for a baby so it's time you and your fiance had a check up regarding this issue. You can also then talk to your doctor about the irregularity you are experiencing so you can discuss your options there.

And again, don't blow off your stress as if it doesn't matter - it really does, in many ways, both physically and emotionally. Talk to your doctor about that too.

Madsheep, I hope this helps you and please keep us updated!


April 6, 2011 - 11:20am
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