Over the years of our marriage, a rift has been developing. I always thought that twice a week seemed like enough and he always acted like he was so deprived, and would always want it more. I started to sleep on the couch to avoid the guilt trip and anxiety that these arguments always caused. One night, when we had been drinking, I had to say no 4-5 times and then finally shove him off me because he didn't want to take no for an option and went to sleep on the couch. A couple weeks later I was passed out drunk and woke up to him having me almost all the way undressed and doing sexual things to me while saying "wake up, please wake up" I felt extrememly violated, similar to the way I had felt in my past experiences of sexual abuse. He seems to think that it is ok, since we are married, but I then made it clear that it is NOT ok and that just because we are married he does not have the right to do what ever he wants to me. So I was already dealing with these problems in our sexual relationship, and recently found out that when he was a teenager, he had sex with his little sister. He does not know that I know, but the source is solid. I'm being told that he is a great guy and how much he loves me and our daughter is safe and I shouldn't be worried, but I can't help but wonder... if taking advantage of me when unconscious wasn't crossing a line, and his past sexual experience with his sister wasn't crossing a line, how do I know that once our daughter gets older, molesting her won't be crossing a line? Should I chalk this up as something "in the past" (it was probably around 14 years ago) or is there some underlining problem that isn't being addressed? I have not let him touch me sense I found out and he's getting impatient, yet if I talk to him about it, many friendships and relationships have then chance of being destroyed. I have no one to talk to about this
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