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My fiancée and I have been together for 8 months and engaged for 4 months now, we Los have a huge problem, we fight every single day, if not every single day it's every two days.. it all started with his ex always interfering with our relationship hacking our Facebook ,snapchat and email accounts. before we got engaged I found out that he emailed his ex girlfriend... I saw a screenshot of what he has sent to her... and it was saying things like 'im not with my new girlfriend, I have a new life and I hope your happy aswell. you never leave my mind your always in my head and I regret leaving you' and so on stuff like this... after that I confronted him about the email and he was so close to killing his ex gf for making up a fake written email. He said to me that his ex girlfriend emailed him saying 'i hate you and your new girlfriend I hope you guys burn in hell' so then he replied to her saying 'pplease leave me and my girlfriend alone don't reply back to this email' he said that his ex girlfriend had access to his email account and told me that she could've gone on his account and typed up a long fake email saying he misses her and sent it to her email , and then made it look like he typed it up... I wanted to leave him because I counted that as cheating but I was too in love that I said ok we will overcome this. He also said that the reason why he didnt tell me that his ex emailed him is because he thought i would retaliate and have a fight with his ex or leave him. But still to this day I don't trust him and I always think he emails her or goes sees her and the thing that keeps me going is because we spend every minute of the day together... so he's got no chance to talk or see her.. I lost all my trust but he has also tries changing me. Before him I would go clubbing and drink and have a night life maybe 2-3 times a month.. now , in this 8 months , Ive never been clubbing or drank. Hes made this whole clubbing drinking thing as something totally disgusting and bad in my head and tries turning me off the things that I like doing. I realised that when he talks about me or out relationship he is actually talking about what HE wants and what HE likes and what HE is into .. after me catching him I realised that whenever we meet up or when we're together hes allways got my phone in his hand.. searching my history or reading everyone of my messages and even looking at my call log... this has gotten worse and he's even lied to me saying that he will clean the kitchen as I shower and he ended up not cleaning and was investigating my phone... when I tell him that I'm getting hurt of him investigating my phone he doesn't understand... I explain him that the reason why I get hurt is.. I don't investigate his phone and I barely look at his phone.. it has come to a point that when he sees me he just grabs my phone when I have not done antrying like he did, emailing his ex partner. I explain him as to why I get hurt and I say .. ' look I didn't cheat on you by emailing my ex.. and yet you are still the one investigating my life... and not trusting me' he doesn't understand this and I'm getting stressed.. please help me what should I do with my relationship. ?
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Hello Anonymous,
Welcome to EmpowHER and thank you for reaching out to our community for advice.
The decision is yours. A solid relationship is built on a foundation of trust, love and respect.
Like a building, a relationship with a weak or fractured foundation will collapse.
Regards,
May 1, 2015 - 9:16amMaryann
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