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Should I seek help over my inability to orgasm?

By Anonymous March 6, 2009 - 10:06am
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I've never had an orgasm from sex, I've had small ones from masturbating with the shower. Idk whether its because I'm young(18) and just haven't got there yet, or if it is related to being molested multiple times as a child.
What kind of help do you recommend? hypnotherapy? I've had years of councelling but was never able to bring this up.
What do you guys think?
All help is very very welcome, this is frustrating me so so much and I want to get it sorted asap.


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Hi anon, Thanks so much for writing. You are so (and I can't emphasize this enough) brave to seek help for the issues you're experiencing and by asking your questions here, you've taken a big first step.

With regard to what happened during your childhood, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry children who have experienced sexual abuse "should receive professional help."

If you haven't been able to bring this up during previous counseling sessions, I would encourage you to talk with someone about it soon. It's important to feel you have a safe environment to express your feelings and relate your experiences. Your questions here make me believe it's something you've been considering and something you feel you need to try.

In addition to the information Susan provided and the resources you've located for yourself, you may want to contact the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry or the American Psychiatric Association which should be able to provide you with services specific to your needs.

You may also find it helpful to read this guide on healing after childhood abuse.

Reaching out may not only help you to deal with possible sexual issues, but possible psychological and emotional issues as well. Thanks for writing anon and feel free to reach back to us at any time.

March 7, 2009 - 7:40am
HERWriter Guide


Thanks so much for your question and for finding Empowher.

I think you may have answered it yourself in the form of perhaps starting counseling again, particularly since you mentioned being molested as a child. This can be something that can have a detrimental effect on people for a lifetime, if not addressed professionally.

You may be better off to seek a counselor who specializes in treating adults who experienced child abuse. There are many available and they have the expertise to teach you the tools to live your best life, despite the obstacles you face. I promise you that whatever you have experienced they will have dealt with before and will be able to help you.

I notice you spell counseling with a 'c'. Are you British or Irish? If British, your National Health Service can help you at www.nhs.uk or in Ireland your GP can give you a referral. Obviously you have been through this counseling process before and know where to get help but I think you may need to ask for a referral to a counselor who specializes in treating post-abuse adults. Your GP or NHS contact can give you a specific referral in this area.

Bet of luck to you and please keep us updated.

March 7, 2009 - 7:13am
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