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Sick of going ballistic

By October 15, 2009 - 10:48am
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I am new to this site. I need help, i am 50 year old woman going through THE CHANGE! I just cry and cry about everything! Then i go ballistic from one minute to the next or I have an impending feeling of doom about everything it is ruining my life, not to mention my kids and husband are ready to put me away. When I first started pre menopause i was on hrt but won't do that again because of all the cancer scares. I have been reading about bio-identical hormones and was wondering if anyone had any input about it.
sick of crying

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EmpowHER Guest

I have just started pre-menopause this year and I understand. I did several things to get off of the emotional roller coaster. I started with telling my husband that his problems were creating stress for me and he needed to start solving some of his own problems. I then decided just to let go of those things and it helped. I have not had a big emotional blowout in months. I pointed out specific things that were creating stress and asked him to do some reading so he could understand what i was going thru. One of the best things that I did to reduce stress was to start taking Tai Chi. This is a great outlet for me. I go 3 times a week and I am much calmer and I can handle my emotions much better. I also went to my local health store and they recomended a product to naturally help with hot flashes and sleep issues. There are several you can try. Just do lots of reading and find something that you are comfortable with. Make sure that you are getting lots of 'YOU' time. Hope this helps some. Missy

October 16, 2009 - 11:11am
(reply to Anonymous)

Thank you for sharing...this was very insightful! It really is true that we "take on" other people's stresses and problems, and we have a lot of control to stop this. Of course, there is a balance between caring about someone and listening to them vent...but then they need to eventually move into problem-solving, as it is emotionally draining to continue endlessly being the sounding-board for someone else.

That is difficult to do...to say, "I love you, but I am not able to devote my emotional energy on listening to your venting on this [XYZ topic] any longer. We've gone through different scenarios, pros/cons, and now I will support you in any decision you make."

I agree---getting lots of "YOU" time, no matter what stage-of-life you are in, is of utmost importance. If you don't have alone time, it is difficult to be a good partner, mother, daughter or friend.

October 18, 2009 - 6:58pm

Dear sick of crying,

I'm 51, and have several friends right around my age also. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! One of the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause is mood swings, and for those of us who have them, they are not pretty.

Alison gave you some great links to follow. I hope you will, and write back and update us on whether the information was helpful and if there's anything else we could help with. Finding an ob/gyn who is an expert in dealing with menopause is key.

Dr. Christiane Northrup wrote a fabulous book on menopause that I recommend to every woman of a certain age. It is thorough, readable and pertinent! And she is a proponent of bioidentical hormones, so you will get good exploration and examination of the topic in her book, The Wisdom of Menopause.

Here's an Amazon link to it:


Or a link to Dr. Northrup's own website:


Hang in there, sick of crying. We're here for you.

October 16, 2009 - 9:04am

Sick of crying,
I am so sorry that you are going through this, and we are so glad that you found this site. Let's help you work through some of your problems and find solutions that may help you move forward and begin feeling better emotionally.

I just realize that I wrote a very long response, and if you prefer not to read through all of this information now, please read the paragraph below, and then the last paragraph. The "middle" is more information about the pros/cons of HRT.

First of all, I am wondering if you are working with a good gynecologist, as well as a therapist? Did you talk with your doctor about the pros and cons of taking HRT, or did you decide to stop using HRT due to potential long-term side effects? Did your doctor talk with you about short-term vs. long-term use, and what you can do to help treat your emotional symptoms? Lastly, have you weighed the pros/cons of using HRT (either with synthetic or bioidentical hormones) with the pros/cons of having low estrogen levels without any "treatment"? I know it is confusing, but am asking to see where you are at in regards to knowing the information, so that we can provide more detail, help and support.

I have found some great resources at EmpowHer's website that I hope will spark some more discussion on this topic, as no one can "tell" you what is best for you. We can only provide the pros/cons related to HRT and bioidentical HRT, so that you can make the choices that fit within your lifestyle.

From my reading, there are pros and cons with both types of HRT (hormones that are synthetic vs. hormones that are bioidentical; I'll use HRT and BHRT to abbreviate). The use of BHRT sounds great, but should also be used with the same careful scrutiny as any other treatment, as the assumption is that "bio-identitical" equals "natural", and natural does not (unfortunately) guarantee that the substance is healthy, safe or effective. Please read below for more information on this topic; some from women who have used HRT and BHRT, as well as from medical experts.

-Medical Expert Dr. Sarrel: Psychological Complaints of Menopausal Women and How to Treat:
"The psychological issues that women will complain about are depression, an irritability, anxiety to the extent of panic attacks...". He states that due to the low levels of estrogen in your body during and after menopause, this can create reactions in your brain including less blood flow and can interact with parts of the brain that may lead to depression. "Clinically, it becomes important if someone’s at menopause and being evaluated to be treated for depression. Most anti-depressants are not as effective when there’s no estrogen. So from a psychiatry/gynecology point of view, I would argue, and the literature can be supportive, that you should replace the estradiol, and then if you need an anti-depressant you can add it, usually at very low doses, and the combination will be effective, whereas the anti-depressant alone you may have to go to very high doses with many adverse side effects and find it very frustrating to help the woman."

-Medical expert Dr. Christensen: What are Bio-identical hormones?:
"[Bioidentical hormones] tend to have less side effects and less of some of the health risks that you could perhaps with the more synthetic hormones. Now the caveat there, however, is that you have to know what you are doing and how to use those. Because you can do just because it is bioidentical does not necessarily mean it is going to be good for you, especially if you are giving it in large quantities and if you are not treating the whole person and creating balance to the whole person because hormones are influenced by many, many different body systems..."

-Bioidentical hormones, what are they and do they really work? EmpowHer article, including references:
"...'natural' or not, bioidentical hormones are still hormones and come with the same set of risks as traditional HRT products. Safety of hormones like estrogen to treat menopausal symptoms has become a concern since the highly publicized results of the Women’s Health Initiative of 2002 that found HRT increased the risk of heart disease and some cancers in certain women on long-term hormone therapy."

-Bioidentical hormones and menopause:
"In the short term, there is no question that bioidentical HRT can help strengthen bone, reduce fractures, improve mood and increase energy. There are many anecdotal reports, which claim that bioidentical HRT can help delay the onset of dementia and maintain cognition. Bioidentical HRT, however, is not for everyone. Women [with certain conditions] should not take these hormones."

-Bioidentical hormones...are they really? Member's blog on BHRT.

You may be interested in reading what other menopausal and post-menopausal women are talking about, as well as experts and recent studies, related to menopause in general, and HRT specifically:
-Menopause: medical studies, conversations, recent news and more
-Menopause with no hormone treatment
-To HRT or not to HRT
-Is hormone replacement therapy really necessary?
-Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

I hope to hear back from you soon, and let us know how we can help you (I realize sending you a bunch of links may not be what you need most from us, so please let us know how we can help).

I did want to mention that some women do go through menopause, and see it as a natural part of life and something that does not need to be "treated". If you are having symptoms as you describe, I think you may want to talk with a therapist first, and describe your feelings and behaviors more concretely (what does "going ballistic" mean?). Are you afraid of harming someone else, do you feel anxious, irritable, have irrational fears? Can you describe this impending doom feeling, and how long it has been going on? This, to me, is the first sign that you need to talk with a therapist sooner-rather-than-later. Take care, and hope to hear back from you soon.

October 15, 2009 - 12:13pm
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