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Too scared to have Sex

By Anonymous January 3, 2016 - 12:38pm
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So I'm currently 16 and I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I want to have sex but I feel like I'd worry too much about getting pregnant, depite using birth control, as I have been known to worry about being pregnant even tho I'm a virgin (eg precm on hands etc). Anyway my boyfriend really wants to and I feel like I'm weird because every other relationship seems to have sex and I'm at the legal age. I don't know when I'm going to stop having this phobia of being pregnant. My boyfriend said I should get the pill but I feel like even with the pill I'd worry after and I'm not sure if my mum would approve of me having sex. Not entirely sure what I'm asking here but..is it okay to be scared to have sex? To you have any tips for Me? Thank you

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon
Thanks for your post!

In reading your post, you seem far too young to be having sex - you are simply not ready. Contrary to what you might think, not every 16, 17 or 18 year old is having sex. Many are choosing not to, for many reasons. Just because something is legal, doesn't mean you have to do it. Drinking is legal at 21 - doesn't mean you have to drink.

If you are paranoid about pregnancy even on birth control and already worried about pre-ejaculate on your hand getting you pregnant (we get hundreds of those questions, you may be one!) then slow down and re-evaluate. There is no point in having protected sex if you're going to spend the rest of the month freaking out about pregnancy. We hear from those girls all the time and they are clearly not ready for sex. Your boyfriend wanting sex doesn't mean you have to.

If you decide to, you need to talk with your doctor about how the Pill works and be responsible. If you are ready for sex then you need to be responsible for taking the Pill at the same time every day and then understanding your risks and accepting them (they will be very low) and staying rational about it all.

You mom should have no impact on your sex life - so if that is a factor, again, you may not be ready.

Don't rush things, think about it longer and then make an informed, adult decision because you are stepping into adult territory.


January 4, 2016 - 9:56am
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