total fear of sex even with my wonderful husband

Susieblue,
Check out the blog post I did on this topic: http://blog.middlesexmd.com/2010/05/
Hopefully this will be helpful.

This is a common complaint with no easy solution. You do need to talk to your healthcare provider, and maybe more importantly a sex therapist. When there is discrepant desire it often leads to difficulty in the relationship at some point. It is important to review your medical history, your medication list and then consider options for treatment. Many women will express some degree of loss of interest (seen more commonly in post-menopausal women), so it is important to 'choose sex', and not wait for a natural 'drive' to have sex. Once women become intimate they usually enjoy the encounter and feel satisfaction with the event and the intimacy shared.

My website MiddlesexMD.com was designed to give women information and advice and products to improve their sexual relationship, check it out, maybe there will be helpful tools.

If the marriage is worth salvaging you need to put effort into this endeavor, and sooner rather then later.

Hi Dear , i look at your post and in my view , might be you are considering very much regarding the matter , for this reason that anytime when you are seeking to enjoy intercourse , you may sidetrack your thoughts to these conditions which you stated above . It really is the huge cause of having the problem of low sexual desire as well as sexual drive . You already heard that saying that "never say never" , it truly is correct in fact it is exactly what in your own circumstance , you possesses the conception that you may not able to enjoy sexual activity that results in this problem .
Don't be to very much in considering all these problem , simply love your life and be positive . Consider in case you are not able to enjoy sex today , you will definitely enjoy it the next day , so you really feel a positive change inside you .
In case continue to feel and experience the very same , then talk with your better half to make you complete in all manner.

NOTE : PLEASE TALK WITH YOUR PARTNER FOR EACH AND EVERY ISSUE THAT YOU ARE FACING OR YOU ARE DEALING WITH , "SHARING" IT IS A KEY TO MAKE BETTER RELATIONSHIP .

Hope this will help you .

Hi susieblue,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  Sometimes, depending on alot of different variables, such as age, stress, a woman can experience hormonal imbalances.  That can lead to a lack of sex drive. You need to see your doctor and explain what is happening, so he can do blood work and he might also advise on seeking help from a psychotherapist.  

Best of luck,

Daisy