Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year and 3 months. We are now living together and things in general are going great. But I seem to have a trusting issue. At the beginning of the relationship, I did not have this issue. I trusted him, and never question him. He was the one that was more questioning about me, because he told me that most of his ex-girlfriends cheated on him. I understand where he comes from, and never complain about him asking me questions or being worried about me not being faithful to him. Over the time, I have becoming like that now, and it has become a problem for me. I started to question him more and more, and always afraid that something bad would happen to our relationship. He had quite a lot of ex-girlfriend before he dated me, but he was the first guy I had sex with, sometimes, it bugs me that he has been with so many other girls before me, but I know that it is the past, and I can't change it. He used to go out to bars and clubs with his friends all the time before we lived together. When we first lived together, he still went out a few times, but I really don't like it when he drinks because to me, he seems like a different person: he used bad words with me, become more angry. I told him that I don't like it when he drinks, and I don't drink personally, so I think it is only fair, if we both don't drink. He doesn't go to bars as much anymore, but now I feel like I am controlling him. I am just afraid that if he goes to bars, drunken girls will be all over him, and when you are drunk, you don't know what is going to happen. Since we live together, he has spend a lot more time with me, and I know he doesn't hang out with his friends as much anymore. I feel bad about it, but every time he goes hang out with his friends, I can't seem to be happy, and still always afraid that he might meet somebody else. We have never been away from each other since we dated, until I was out of the country for a month an a half, and I was so scared before I left. I was so scared that something bad will happen to our relationship and things will not be the same when I get back. He always tell me he loves me, and I know that he does. And he also tell me that things will be fine when I get back. I am an over- analyzer! I over-analyze everything, I always think of the worst thing that could happen because from previous experience, when I get my hope up, it always turn out bad for me, so I always keep my expectation very low.
It is just sometimes I found some weird things. Before we lived in this house with 3 roommates, and one of them is a model, and she also takes nude pictures. One time when my boyfriend was drunk, he told me that even when he saw her naked pictures, he is not attracted to her. A few days later when he was sober, I asked if he saw her naked picture before, he said: "No, I have never." One day, I got a text message from him, and I am sure that he accidentally sent to me, inside was a link to a model website with a message said: it is full with hot chicks. Find out things like that worried me, though I never told him!
I really want to trust him, and I don't want to feel so doubtful all the time anymore! I know he loves me and I have tried so many time, to make my self being less doubtful and trust him, but I still can't do it! I don't know what to do! This really makes me tired, and exhausted because I am always worrying! I love you very much and I am a very loyal person, and I would never do anything to sabotage the relationship! I really need some advice of what to do, because everytime there is any holidays, I get so worried that he would go to bars, especially 4th of July is coming, and I am not home, so he is free to do whatever he wants! PLEASE HELP ME!
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