ask: Vaginal dryness: can't get wet and i'm only 26

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I don't get aroused easily and can barely get an orgasm. I enjoy it but less and less since I'm always so dry I get hurt. The vaginal lips will bloat when I get aroused but I barely get wet and it doesn't get better. I can go for one round, I'm too dry after and no amount of foreplay will get me there, not even masturbation. And I ALWAYS have some kind of tear tissue in the area, either right below the vagina entrance, at the entrance or both. and next day feels uncomfortable.

I wasn't like that till my 23rd bday and I can't find what's wrong. I'm also prone to yeast infection (like white cheesy discharge, no odor and lots of itching)
Is there a solution besides lubricant?

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EmpowHER Guest

Ok I have the same problem. I have had this going on since I was around 30 and am now 40. I am in a loving relationship and we have alot of for play bUT it's not enough. I'm either dry or not wet enough. I cannot use any type of lubricant (even high end ones). I get yeast infections for everything. When I talked to the doc.....several times they just tell me more foreplay. My brain is aroused but my body is not.

August 18, 2015 - 7:26am
Alison Beaver

The solution is dependent on the cause of your vaginal dryness.

I have a few follow-up questions for you:
1. Are you sexually active with one partner (reason I'm asking: is this a person you trust, or is your brain telling you that this is not the person for you, and it is manifesting itself physically by you not being aroused enough to produce lubrication?). Many times, sexual problems arise from the first point of sexual arousal: our brains and emotions. I just wanted to make sure you are having sex with one partner whom you love and trust with no deep issues, or you are having sex with multiple partners and being safe and happy with this. If you are emotionally and mentally OK with your sexual partners, then you can move on to the physical aspects.
2. Physically, you said you are unable to self-lubricate, and this has happened within the past 3 years. What happened, or changed, when you were 23?
3. During the sex act, are you able to tell your partner to slow down? Do you feel your voice is heard, and you don't feel pressure to perform? Do you feel guilty for not being "wet enough" from a few times, and now you are scared that you are not wet enough and it prevents you from becoming fully aroused?
4. You mentioned there is some feeling of tearing after sex. You probably want to use store-bought lubrication if you choose to have sex, as your body may begin to associate sex-with-pain, and it will be more difficult to self-lubricate. Does that make sense? Use lubrication liberally so that sex is not painful; your body is not "bracing" itself for intercourse, and you can hopefully physically relax more, which can lead to more self-lubrication.
5. Recurrent yeast infections might mean that they are not being properly diagnosed and treated. You would want to make sure you are infection-free before continuing any sexual relations, as your partner may also be spreading the infection back-and-forth. Have you been diagnosed with the specific type of infection?

If, after all of this, you are still not self-lubricating, you should talk with your doctor. Do you have a Gynecologist that you trust?

September 21, 2010 - 12:45pm
tu.exito (reply to Alison Beaver)

Thank you for answering....A little bit of everything. I was in an abusive relationship and most of the time I feel like I'm not able to defend myself, so i'm shyer as time past by, causing me to stress. vicious cycle and when I'm thinking now i'm ok, turns out i'm not. 3 years later. :-S
and every time I ask a doctor about that, answer i got is every woman is different. Agreed, but i was not like that, so.

September 21, 2010 - 10:40pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to tu.exito)

I'm thinking stress plays a role in vaginal dryness, just as it plays a role in mens sexual problems. A little therapy may help anyone in this situation. Also relaxing, being at ease and an understanding partner could help alot. U only get aroused when ur enjoying sex if u are bored or not that in to it then u wont get erect or wet. Im not expert but thats just from my own experiences. Hope it helps someone. :)

August 4, 2015 - 12:39am
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