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virgin afraid of having sex for the first time

By Anonymous April 2, 2015 - 5:57pm
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hi i have been married for four months but not yet been able to have penetrative sex with my husband as we are both virgins so are both a bit anxious about the unknown. the problem we are having is that with me lying on my back and him on the top he cant move easily and hurts a bit and after sometime loses the erection so we are not able to penetrate. whereas he gets very hard and turned on with me on top cowboy style but in that posture i totally freeze or move away when start to feel even slightly uncomfortable and after some time when my husband is not able to penetrate he loses the erection. i simply dont know what to do how to relax my self while having the foreplay and make out i am totally into it and want but once we decide to do it i become very afraid.

i dont have anyone as such close to me to discuss this with. both me and my husband will really appreciate any sort of help. we totally out of the loop.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

It sounds like you and your husband may have been raised with a skewed opinion of sex - perhaps that it was wrong or dirty or immoral.  These teachings can cause great anxiety in couples.   

I think therapy may be of benefit to you both - both individual and couples therapy. Talk to your doctor to get a reference for a good sex therapist who can work with you both in order to work through what is causing your fears that you can enjoy a sex life together.



April 3, 2015 - 5:35am
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