what can I do to get my boyfriend to have sex with me?

By Anonymous February 15, 2012 - 2:47pm

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We have been together for 3 and a half years, I know for a fact he is not cheating, but he has been extreamly stressed out for good long while, and while he won't admit it, he is very depressed about his life situation, which honestly is pretty bad, mostly it boils down to money issues, but he feels stuck in his job. I don't even know how to bring up the idea of him being tested for depression or low testosterone (which he has almost every symptom of both) It's been literally months since we have had sex, and he has absolutely no sex drive, (he doesn't even masturbate anymore, ever that's been monhs as well even before the last time we've had sex) I know his lack of drive has nothing to do with me, but it obviously affects me, and I want to help him for both of us. Please help, talking about it with him always upsets him more, but saying nothing doesn't help either and I just don't knwo what to do.

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Maryann Gromisch RN Guide

I can appreciate your concerns. As with any problem, the individual must first recognize the problem and want to correct the problem.

If your boyfriend is not ready to address his low libido, there is nothing that you can do

Depression can negatively impact a person's sex drive. Depression will not go away without intervention. If he is depressed over financial matters and dissatisfaction with his job, he needs to take control and change what he can. The causes of his depression may be circumstantial. Once the circumstances are corrected or resolved, his depression may be relieved.

I can only suggest that you become a good listener. Let him talk about what is bothering him when he is ready. Let him start the conversation. Be supportive and encouraging. Let him know that you love him, unconditionally, if indeed you do.

This will be hard and may take time. It all depends on how much you love him and how committed you are.

Maryann

February 15, 2012 - 6:32pm

Anonymous (reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

Thanks for your reply, I do love him with everything in me, we may not be married on paper but in my heart and soul I am married to him. I just don't know what to do since I am pretty much helpless in this situation, I'm getting depressed from the situation becasue it just takes a toll on me, I'm pretty strong and I can handle a lot of stress, I just feel so stuck in this. None of my needs are getting met, but I also know that he just doesn;t have anything left to give right now... I just need to find some kind of support to help me help him get through this without putting any more pressure on him. It's honestly good to know there is a site like this where may be I can get some of that. thanks again

February 16, 2012 - 5:53am