OK THIS IS A LONG STORY ...I am 30 years old , I have been in a relationship for the last 11 years , and i have been living together with my boyfriend for the last 3 years. We are not married, whenever i bring up the topic of marriage he gets upset and changes the topic, so i have given up on that. Apart from the few ups and downs we have a good life. Last month i found a phone that he keeps in his car and went through it , i found a few tele nos on there...i tried the numbers and it was another womans no., first i thought nothing of it..i did not ask him about it. then one day he said to me he was going to play golf with some of his friends and had taken a day off work , he normally plays golf so i did not think anything.that day i somehow had a weird thought or feeling , and tried to call him from the morning , but he did ot answer , i then tried the nos that i found on his cell, and found out this was one of the girls that worked at his company previously, one of the nos was her office no., and when i called they said she was off work for the next 2 days, i continuosly called their nos and they did not answer, finally that afternoon i called her no. again , and asked her if she knew my bf, she said yes and that he was her boyfriend , amazing part is they have been dating for 3 years, i am still shocked until today. upon approaching him on this , he gave me a pathic story saying that he was sorry and he was trying to break it off with her, he used to tell me he was working on saturdays, but he obviosly was not, since this problem , he has never been to work on a saturday.
the women says she did not know about me...if you are dating someone for 3 years , would you not vist their home or meet their family or even get calls in the evening or weekends, spend holidays and special occasions together for that matter. he told her there was no cellphone reception where he lived so she could not get hold of him....whenever they slept together it was in a hotel, not in his home , where he lives alone....weird huh ...and mind you a cheap scrappy hotel ...yes i found a receipt...
my problem is this , after being through this, he has aked me to let him handle the situation , as he feels that it would be bad of him to hurt the other woman as well because she did not know what he was doing , so he wants to tell her that he does not want to see me or her , and wants to be alone , but if she ever calls me , i must play along , so she believes that he did not choose me and wont feel bad and will stop calling him ...does that even make sense.
for some dumb reason i went along with it, now when i ask him whats the situation he get angry that im keep questioning him about it ...am i just being dumb here, this has definately affected our relationship in ways i cant describe, i dont know why i am not leaving , i dont know if im afraid , or just still in shock....or just stupid ....what do you think?
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