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what to do if anti-depressants dont work...suffer from anxiety for 4 years now

By May 31, 2010 - 11:30am
 
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I went out of work 4 years ago because of dizziness but after all the testing from blood work,MRI"s and ENT testing nothing showed up....then anxiet and depression set in...now I cannot tolerate any of the anti-depressants cause of the side effects...2 weeks is about all I can stand then i stop cause I get so sick...my anxiety if off the roof...I havent spent any holidays for birthdays or any other occasion with my family in the last 4 years....now i am so depressed because I cant find the help I need...

Just want my life back so bad but cant find anyone to help...been to therapist,pyschiatrist and group classes ....no relief at all...have panic from morning to night....only relief I get is when I am asleep but soon as morning comes its all over again...Lost 40 pound cause of anxiety ....had stress test done cause heart rate was 168 bpm in my sleep...I wore a heart monitor...they could find anything just said it was anxiety...I lost my job of 14 years and I am now on disability because of all this...is there anything else anyone could recommend i try to help with the anxiety...I am so tired of being like this...I want ME back again so bad...but I honestly dont even remember what it feels like to feel calm anymore...I feel I live in a bubble and everyone else lives and has fun and goes on with there lives....guess that is depression...any suggestions please...I am new to this board...not good with computers so I hope I can find it again once I exit out...thanks for all who read this and have any suggestions...thankyou so much...Karen

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You know its so weird you came across dizzines with fibro because I have never heard of anyone else saying they have dizziness with there fibromyalgia....I was on the board for fibro support for about a year or so and everyone that I chatted with said they never had dizziness....

I actually went to a Rheumotologist(no I didnt spell that right) but he didnt actually do much except ask me did I think I had it....I said well I seem to have the systems and he just touch my arm and knee and said well there is not much I can do to help you with this that your own MD couldnt do....in other words there is no cure and you have to deal with it I guess....So I never went back and just told my MD and they never say much about it....I dont think they really believe in it very much here....

I guess even if I found a doctor to help me that really believed in it the most he could probably do was give me the meclizine for dizzness and advil or tylenol for the pain....I cant take Lyrica....its a killer in my book....but I just cant take meds so thats probably why....

I am so weak today but I did drive up the street from my house to the post office and mailed some bills off but I was so weak I felt like I was giong to pass out....thats when I get so scared because I cant understand why I feel like this but no one can give me anything to help me...then my anxiety just gets worse and the depression sets in.....I mean what is it going to take...I know so many people that suffer with anxiety and depression and fibro and they still get on with there lives but of course they can take medications.....I honestly dont know what I am going to do....I feel at the end of my rope....

I have woke up for the past 3 weeks nauseous every day all day long...and my stomach is hurting and I am just so fatigued.....I often wonder how or why I ended up like this but I guess everyone ask that same question when things happen to them also....

I feel like my family even though they say they understand I know they dont, and they think if I would just get up and get out things would get better but I have tried that....if only they knew what it felt like to try to go off sick and feeling like you are going to pass out....God help me Monday at the dentist cause I know its going to be a nightmare for me with my anxiey...oh well I got to face it no matter what happens to me....I feel for my brother....

Well i will try to read more on the sites you sent me....my computer wouldnt let me go but so far with them....dont know what the problem was but I will try again...thanks for the insight and information...Oh by the way I live in North Carolina...thanks again Diane for emailing me back....I really do appreciate it alot...

June 3, 2010 - 11:04am

Karen,

Bless your heart. It is so hard to have a positive outlook on the day when you wake up feeling rotten.

Anxiety can cause a million physical problems -- but other things can, too. Did you know that fibromyalgia can cause chronic dizziness? This is a really good page that explains it:

http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org/fibromyalgia_dizziness.html

Who are you seeing for your fibromyalgia? (Not a name, but a kind of doctor). Do you feel that she or he has expertise in this area?

Where in the country (just city, state) do you live, Karen?

June 3, 2010 - 9:50am

Diane

I did tell the dentist about my anxiety and dizziness but he didnt say anything and I was so nervous I couldnt even ask him anything...I have got 5,000 worth of work to be done which only by the grace of God will I ever get it paid for but I will just have to make payments for the rest of my life I guess...

You know Diane the one thing that really worries me is that I really feel so sick and ill feeling everyday...I feel like someone has hit me in the head with a bat or frying pan and I am seeing stars...and it is painful to turn my head from left to right and then along with all the other systoms....I mean I wake up in fear and sick to my stomach....this is everyday....can anxiety really cause all these problems?? No one has found out anything yet so I guess it can cause alot of things to go haywire in your body...

I feel drugged everyday...I wake up after sleeping so tired like I havent slept and never have any energy at all...I just feel like I am going downhill more and more everyday and dont know where to turn...when I tell a dr this he just wants to give me pills that I cannot tolerate and make me sick, then I get even more depressed...its a vicious cycle all the time...even thinking of going to the dentist has me in high anxiety already....I just always feel like I have the flu....after 4 years its frustrating and I just feel like giving up...no one understands not even me....I know God does and I have to put my trust in Him....

I will try the therapist again when I get thru with the dentist procedure if I can make it, but you know if they havent ever experienced panic they really dont know what to do either but listen to you...or thats what I have gathered from before...I feel sometimes this is my life and I will just have to get use to it...I dont want to spend the rest of mylife like this but I feel I have exhausted all avenues....

Thankyou for listening to me and all the encouragement also...well we are having a severe thunderstorm here right now so I am getting off the computer but thankyou for all the advise...Karen

June 2, 2010 - 10:06am

Karen,

I know you can get the dentist procedures behind you. Absolutely. But I have a question. I told my dentist that I have a lot of anxiety around dental visits and he prescribed a Valium that I could take about an hour before my appointment. Would that help you with these three appointments you have to do? The dentist could call it into a pharmacy where you could pick it up ahead of time. Since your brother is going with you, he could drive, right?

I am so sorry there's been so much stress in your life. I know that to a person with anxiety, stress can make it worse. However, you are taking things baby step by baby step, which is what we have to do sometimes. Deal with the dentist, bit by bit, and get through that. (Is there any possibility that the dizziness could be related to dental problems? Be sure the dentist knows that you suffer from the dizziness, OK?) And then focus your energy on looking for a therapist who works with anxiety patients and who is familiar with CBT. Psychology Today has an index of therapists by city or zip code, and you can also click "Anxiety" from the drop-down menu on that page to get better results:

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

June 2, 2010 - 9:21am

Hi Diane and thankyou for responding...

Yes the ENT doctors did try me on meclizine,the scoop patch you put behind your ears for motion sickness but nothing helped....he said sometimes people just have to live with dizziness cause doctors cant always find out the reason unless something shows up like a tumor or MS or something like that....he did rule out Munieres Disease....He just said it was probably something I would have to live with unless something one day shows up...

I got the diagnoses for fibromyalgia about a year after all this started....and yes I am now going thru menopause but at the time this all started I was not..My periods were fine and always on time but this coming July I will have gone a full year without a period....My new female dr I went to said that I was probably going thru menopause so I ask if she could run a test to see(this was in January of this year) and she said well there is no sense in that cause all its going to show is that you are going thru menopause....so I left it at that.....whats so funny is I dont hardly have hot flashes or night sweats at all, and not really bad with mood swings but I do have the anxiety and depression that goes with menopause.....I am also in alot of pain and I guess thats maybe the fibromyalgia....not much to do there either but take pain meds which I only take tylenol or advil once in a while...

I will try maybe again the COB therapy when I get the dentist procedures behind me...If i can even make it to there office...I get so fatigued just driving anywhere....I get so mad with myself cause of the way I am...I feel like its my fault for some reason and cant understand why I cant get over it....but that just makes it worse...

Thanks for all the help....I will try to therapy again when I can....if you believe in prayer say one for me...I need all the prayers I can get....thankyou again and if you have anymore suggestions please feel free to email me....Karen

June 1, 2010 - 9:43am

Karen,
I wish I could give you a hug. I'm so glad you wrote back. And you were not at all boring -- the road you have been on is clearly so painful that I have admiration for your strength. (It's still in there, somewhere.)

I find the age at which all this started interesting, because it's the age at which so many women are entering or are in perimenopause or menopause. While dizziness is not a symptom, anxiety and mood disorders are. At any point along the way has a good gynecologist given you a checkup and even checked your hormone levels? Are your periods still regular?

When you first started having your dizziness, did doctors test you for Muniere's disease? Did they determine that you just have vertigo for no reason? (A hint: When you are having a really bad vertigo day, try taking a half-dose of meclazine, which is sold as Bonine, a motion sickness medicine. You don't want to take it all the time because you'll become dependent on it, but it helps hugely on a bad day.)
I see in your profile that you also have fibromayalgia. How long ago were you diagnosed with it? Was the onset of that before or after the dizziness and/or the anxiety?

You want your life back. I so, so understand that. I know what it's like to feel that you are living separate from the world. It's good that you make yourself go out. Karen, I think you must try the therapy thing again. You need a therapist who specializes in anxiety. They can help you change your world, bit by bit. Even if you can only afford to go once a month, that session will give you hope and things to work on in the time in between. Is this a possibility?

June 1, 2010 - 8:29am

Karen,

I'm so sorry about your anxiety. I too deal with an anxiety disorder, though mine is not as severe as yours. I know that panic and depression are such difficult things to deal with. I'm proud of you that you are continuing to look for a solution.

You mention that you have been to a therapist -- was it a therapist who was expert in anxiety disorders? Was that specifically what you worked on with him or her?

Have you ever heard of cognitive behavioral therapy? It is often successful with anxiety patients (and might be good for you since you cannot take meds). Here is a page with a good explanation of CBT:

http://www.paniccure.com/Approaches/CBT/overcome/overcome_panic_attacks.htm

Does this sound like it might be an option for you?

I am so glad that you are on the computer, and I hope you find your way back to this thread, because there are also some online support groups that might help you. Would you be interested in anything like that?

Karen, are you able to leave the house at all? Do you have things in your life that do bring you pleasure?

May 31, 2010 - 2:06pm
(reply to Diane Porter)

Diane,

Thanks for answering my email...I am not sure if the therapist was a CBT or not....I didnt go very long cause I couldnt afford it on a fixed income and medicare which they gave me after 2 years of beng on disability doesnt cover but 50 percent....

I feel myself getting in a place I dont like....its scarey and hard to exxplain...but I feel like I dont live anymore or that I live differently than the rest of the world....its like I am all alone....like I said living in a bubble watching the world go by...

I am only 53 years old and 49 when all this started to happen to me...it all started with dizziness and to this day I still have it....i suffer everyday with it and pain in my head and neck and shoulders...I have had 2 MRI's to rule out MS and Lupus and blood work and ENT testing which the doctor said I had had some trauma to my right ear but that it shouldnt make me dizzy everyday...

My ears ring all the time now an stop up but everytime I get them checked out they say they are fine....every test I take its always fine , and yes I am grateful for that but also want to know what is happening to me....even my eye back in 2006 started twitcing and even my customers could see it....it never would stop...it drove me about crazy...I went to the eye dr and they said it was probably just stress but it went on for over 6 months...I couldnt stand it any longer so I went to a surgeon Opt. and he called it this long name and said the only way for it to stop was to do BOTOX....well that scared me to death but after 6 months I decided to do it..

Well I had it done all the time still working and having dizzy spells and nausea and headaches everyday....they stuck me 2 times in the top lid and 2 times in the bottom lid...well the next morning when I got up it had stopped...I was so happy at least that was taken care of or so I thought....then when I was at work my pharmacist said did you know your eye is not closing....I said no....I went and looked in the mirror and my eye was wide open and would not shut or blink at all....

I called and went back to the dr who did the botox and he said well I probably gave you to much it will be about 3 to 4 weeks and then it will close...well then my other eye was getting infected because of using it to much I guess....I had pus coming out of it and it was glued shut every morning....so I went back to him again and of course by the time I would go it would be cleared up as the day went on....so all the time this is freaking me out and my anxiety was getting so bad I felt like I was going to faint at times...I finally took a leave of absents cause I was so sick...

I lost 40 pounds in the first month of being out sick and was so depressed I could hardly get around...I live alone which did not help but thats the way it goes after a divorce....they started sending me to pychiatrist and they tried me on everything....paxil,zoloft,celexa,lexapro,elavil,prozac,effexor,
nortriplyine,trazadone,you name it I have tried it...the only thing I am on right now is klonipin and I am taking .25mg of that 3 times daily and have been for 4 years...it doesnt even work any longer and I have tried to increase it and get very nauseous but I have been nauseous for years so I dont know if its that or not...but I know with that drug its addictive and the more you take the more your body will need...so I just stay where I am even though its not working....crazy...huh...I know....well my eye finally stopped twitching after 4 MONTHS...it took it that long to finally shut....I think I had a nervous breakdown and havent been back to work since 2006...

I had to quit and went out on disability which I have been living on for 3 years now....thank the good Lord he made a way and provided me with income or I would have lost everything....

Diane as the years have gone by I am getting worse and worse and honestly at times I feel like something is so wrong with me that they arent seeing it....I dont ever want to leave the house but I make myself go to the grocery store around the corner from me and even that is a task for me....the fatigue is so bad and I get so weak from the anxiety....its like I am getting a work out without working out....I only weigh 128 pounds now and 4 years ago I was at about 160....I havent gained much back in the 4 years but I do eat but I think my anxiety level is so high it just burns the calories up...

I will tell you one more thing then I will shut up cause I could go on and on with my problem but last week my brother took me to the dentist for the first time in 10 years...OMG...I know....but I have been so scared to go but I have teeth hurting and knew I had to go....I was so tensed up in his office and my anxiety was so bad that it took a toll on me for the whole week....I couldnt hardly move I hurt so bad all over....I have got to go this coming Monday for a 3 hour work to be done on 2 of my teeth....my brother will be there for me but I am so ready to cancel cause of what I am going to have to go thru....they said they will sedate me but I am not sure if it will make me sleepy or not....its a pill called Halcion for sleep but sometimes those type drugs work the opposite on me, but never the less I have got to get it done and then I have 2 more visits after that....I just hope I can make it thru it all....

My daughter called me last night and her and her finace have called it off....so I was all stressed about that....its every thing in my life just puts me over the edge and my family cant really understand that but its all I think about all day and dwell on...

I would like the support groups if they will help but I dont want to really get up with a group of people that only talk like I am now and they cant find any help either cause that will just make me feel more discouraged...you know what I mean...

I dont have any thing right now in my life that brings me plesasure and that is so sad cause if you would have known me 4 years ago I was so bubbly and happy and the clown at work....I cut up and made everyone laugh, but I dont know where that person is any longer....I feel like I have lost my identity and I no longer exist...I know this all sounds crazy but its the way I feel and getting worse all the time....I pray alot and read my Bible when my eyes and head will let me from the dizziness....

I know you didnt expect a book but like I said its been a long journey for me and I havent even touched the surface with what I have been thru with doctors and test and all....I will go for now Diane and I hope I didnt bore you to badly with all this...

I would love to hear back from you if you have anymore suggestions but I know you really probably dont know what else to tell me...are you on any medications at all? I wish I could find something I could tolerate but so far I havent....well I hope you have a blessed day and hope to chat with you again soon.....Karen

June 1, 2010 - 7:07am
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