I have a friend, an ex boyfriend, actually, with whom my fiancee and I are close with, though, since we just moved, he now lives in another city.
I have a hard time with him because he has a bit of a social disorder personality(though he would NEVER agree with this) and a drinking problem(he would also NEVER agree with this).
When we were still a couple, things were often a bit miserable as he was quite controlling of me. The problem is, he still tries to control me though we are now just friends. We broke up about ten years ago and he has still not found someone else and I have. He is also over fifteen years older than me.
He has not dated really atall since we broke up. He tries to control little things in my life, like how I use my computer, how I drive,what I think about certain issues etc.. He just came to visit us for the Thanksgiving holiday and was perfectly pleasant and nice though drank like a fish and develped terrible asthma after returning home which, though it started three days later, he tried to blame on my dogs.
I gently suggested that it may have been because of the drinking and pot smoking, but he insisted that it was a delayed reaction to my dogs. I have never heard of an asthma reaction coming days later! Had anyone else out there?
He had been drinking and smoking pot the night before the asthma attack came!
I feel bad that he is suffering but when we talk on the phone, it's all he talks about and doesn't ask anything about me or my fiancee's lives.
Also he had promised to take care of one of the dogs at Xmas and just now, told us that he can't because of the asthma.
This made me very upset as we are leaving the country and it's super hard to find a person to take care of an animal. Mine have special requirements which a dog care centre will not deal with.
I don't know what to do about this friend.....he sometimes still makes me cry, accuses me of not being able to take criticism, when he is the LAST person who will, drinks far too much for a man of 53, doesn't seem incredibly interested in my life right now and drains me a bit.
When we hang out, things are often pleasant, on the positive side, he is kind and intelligent, but sometimes, it's not worth it.....
I am rambling on a bit, maybe I'm even over reacting...but I would love if anyone has any suggestions on how to deal wth a difficult friend????
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