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What is the likelihood of catching oral hpv if you have had oral sex with someone and you just found out they may have hpv?

By August 21, 2014 - 12:10pm
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I am 23 and I was just diagnosed 8 months ago with HPV. About three months ago, I found genital warts. I have been VERY stressed out, frantically searching the internet for answers, not really getting a clear understanding. I have only had sex with two people. I was in a relationship with the first guy for two and a half years, and unfortunately we also had oral sex. I didn't think it was a big deal because we were both virgins. I found out later on that he was cheating on me and I left him. I didn't get in another relationship until a year later. Me and the second guy didn't do oral sex. I was with him for 1 year and found out he has been with a lot of people, some of them while I was with him. I am no longer with him anymore. When I told him I was HPV positive, he was acting like there was no way that I could have gotten HPV from him even though he has had multiple partners. My gynecologist doesn't seem very concerned with my health and seems to get really defensive when I ask questions about my health. Does anyone know how common it is to get oral HPV and what is the likelihood that these warts will go away on their own?

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Hi there!

I can hear and feel the pain in your message!! Please let me reassure you that you are not alone! This is just something that happened to you that was unfortunate, but your life is certainly not over! Try, as hard as it is, not to think of your life moving forward as if it's over. People live long happy lives with these conditions and have meaningful relationships and even marriages! 

If I were you, I would find a gyn that you really trust. They can give you the facts and help you move on with the news. Also, I know places like Planned Parenthood have counseling and support groups. Do you have something like Planned Parenthood near you? It doesn't cost much money, and I think that you would find some good advice from a professional. 

Ultimately, whomever you end up marrying should and will love you unconditionally. It's important to know how to be honest with the men in your life moving forward and a counselor can help you with that. Until that time comes, I would abstain from oral and sex and focus on developing a relationship with men and finding intimacy with them. Intimacy doesn't always include sex. Intimacy is talking, sharing each other's hopes and fears and being compassionate. The right guy will come along and he WILL BE ALL of those things!

Best wishes,

Please keep in touch!


August 26, 2014 - 1:43pm

Thanks. Me and the second guy used latex condoms every time, but every now and then the condom would break. I'm currently single and plan to stay that way for a LONG time. I'm currently looking for a new gyn. It feels like my life is over. I want to have a family someday. If anyone is ever willing to have a relationship with me, is this going to impact my ability to have kids? I'm very distraught because of this and the fact that one of these guys has given me HPV and I trusted them.

August 21, 2014 - 1:11pm

Hi anon!

Thank you for sharing your question with the EmpowHER community. 

It is very common to get HPV as it is very contagious. You can get HPV by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has the virus. It is most commonly spread during vaginal or anal sex. HPV can be passed even when an infected person has no signs or symptoms.

Anyone who is sexually active can get HPV, even if you have had sex with only one person. You also can develop symptoms years after you have sex with someone who is infected making it hard to know when you first became infected.

HPV in most cases goes away on its own, however if it doesn't go away, it can cause genital warts or lead to cancer. 

Genital warts usually appear as a small bump or group of bumps in the genital area. They can be small or large, raised or flat, or shaped like a cauliflower. A healthcare provider can usually diagnose warts by looking at the genital area.

More than 40 types of HPV cause genital warts. Genital warts can be passed from person to person through intimate sexual contact (vaginal, oral, or anal sex). 

There is no cure that gets rid of the human papillomavirus completely. But treatments can reduce the number of warts — or help them go away faster. Treatments such as laser therapy or chemical "freezing" is an option or a special medication.

I would suggest seeing a new OBGYN, one that you feel is concerned about your health and can address these specific questions. It's very important that you get proper medical care and attention so that you don't infect any other partners. 

Are you using latex condoms? I suggest that you use a latex condom every time you have intercourse as well as oral sex.

WIll you make an appointment with a new OBGYN and wear condoms with your partner?

Please keep me updated.



August 21, 2014 - 12:35pm
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