Facebook Pixel

what should i do when the man i love lied to me from day one?

By August 3, 2011 - 3:36pm
Rate This

Well we started dating back in school and i've been honest about everything i've told him about me . and for him the same as well. the first thing he told me is that he had two kids and an ex-wife.And i was okay with that because he was honest. We both had question that we asked each other in the beggining of our relationship. for for example: how many people we have be intimate with..he said 3.and so on and so on.. as the time went by i fell in love with him.well a year and two months go by and i had a trust issue with him hanging out with girls. so he broke up with me for a week and i tried to change..and i did.i began to trust him. another year went by and we moved to california . we moved in with each other..one day i was going through his emails and i saw him writting a few girls on a ad to find hot singles..i saw that he was recieving pics of naked girls and he sent pics of himself naked as well.i was pissed..he shortly came home from work and i confronted him about him doing that..he said he was drunk and didn't remember doing that. he said he will never do that again.so i forgave him. one day on a drive home from his moms house, i was having a conversation with him saying i wanted to know some of his secrets because as a best friend/girlfriend he should be able to share that with me. So many times i asked him if he was keeping anything from me.and he said something in his past he didnt want me to know because its not important.i guess he got sick of me asking he finally told me the truth after being with him for 2 yrs..He told me he was still married, got two old girlfriend pg and they had an abortion and he has slept with over 30 girls..i was so mad and he said this is why he didnt want to tell me because i would react this way..he said it was all my fault for asking and i told him u lied.he said i didnt lie, i just didnt want to tell u.should i leave him but i love him so much but i dont know what to do..on top of all of this..i've been asking him to have sex but hes always has an excuse(tired,no in the mood)..i feel like i dont feel wanted because i put on some weight and i just gave up on asking to have sex and we havent done anything in 1 month. can u give me some advice on how i can fix this relationship if its fixable.

Add a Comment6 Comments

I agree with the other woman. You've caught him online with other girls, lied about being married, etc etc. He isn't worth your time. If he had nothing to hide then why couldn't he simply tell you? Anyways, there's no use in asking why. He did and that's it. Move on and don't look back. He doesn't deserve you. With a lying personality like that, no one will want him.

August 23, 2011 - 4:50pm

You are beautiful and worth a man who is made up of honor, loyalty and respect. Someone who is worth your trust. You may be thinking about how you could trust a man after it took you so long to build up the trust you had with the man you are with now and then having him shatter that in mere minutes. I know how the trust is, i've been through trust issues and I may always have them. One thing you have to remember is that your beautiful and the next man that's worth you will build that trust from the rubble of what it is now. I cant promise that it will be easy, because chances are is that it wont be, but that's the beauty of life, we can learn from our mistakes and in turn become a better person.
I wish you the best of luck and always remember that you are not alone.
Hebrews 13:5b "...never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

August 18, 2011 - 4:49pm

I really feel so sorry for you dear for the entire time you fully gave to this relationship only for it to turn out like this . Please take heart and move on with your life Surely to be honest you are too good for that man. he must be past moral values so he could lie to you all this while. Get out of that relationship and never look back .

August 5, 2011 - 12:19am

you are spending your time living with a married, sex-disinterested liar. do you really want to waste even more of it? get yourself away from there and make yourself REALLY truly happy, because this just does NOT work.

August 3, 2011 - 5:07pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to mena)

I have to agree with the great advice from our two women above - this man isn't worth your next breath and please don't think this can work or that he loves you - it won't and he doesn't.

Be smart and dignified and move on from this person.

Our best to you,

August 4, 2011 - 8:01am

I can only try to understand how you must be feeling. You are justified to feel angry, hurt and betrayed. It is painful to have someone who you loved and have been honest with, withhold very important information from you. Very frankly, I do not think this man is worthy of you. Nor do I think this relationship is worth saving. He cheated on you the entire time you were involved with each other. He is still married. It is time for you to move out and move on.

August 3, 2011 - 4:15pm
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!