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What should i think and do?

By Anonymous August 6, 2014 - 6:00am
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My bf and i are together for 4 years and until now he always hide me from everyone!!I'm 35 years old and he's 24 years old and is finishing his law degree.
In the last days my bf said he had good news for me and that he knew that it would make me happy!The news are that he decided to introduce me to all his besfriends and to his parents(and tell them about us)!And it will be next week. I know he is fearing their reaction about my age!! :(
Can someone tell me your opinion?

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post! 

It's always a bit nerve-wracking to "meet the parents" isn't it?! 

Your boyfriend is 24 and a law school graduate so he's a gown man and can choose whom to date regardless of what others think. Your age difference would not be significant if you were both a lot of older but it's a bigger difference as he is still maturing while you, at 35, probably have a lot more figured out! 

I'm not sure why you have been ok with being "hidden" for four years while he goes through school. To not be introduced to family and friends indicates that he may have had another girlfriend during these years and had to hide you, or that he was/is ashamed of you.  At 35, I'm not sure why you have put up with this for four years. 

Or his family may have been funding his education and cut him off if they had known about you so now that he has graduated, he's not beholden to them them anymore. 

There could be many reasons as to why you have been his little secret but none should be good enough. 

Since he thinks you should be very pleased that you are finally good enough to be shown, this indicates that he thinks this may be some kind of honor for you! 

I would tread carefully when meeting his family and friends. What happens when they ask you how long you have been dating and you tell them four years...won't that be strange? Or will your boyfriend allow them to know that? 

You're not under any obligation to meet anyone. He knew your age at the beginning and your age should never be a factor - you are not some kind of shameful secret - but you have been treated as such by your boyfriend. 

I find this whole scenario very insulting to you. It is your choice on what to do but remember to be exactly who you are, be honest about everything and hide nothing. Be polite and have fun. You're perfectly fine as you are! 

Will you keep us posted?



August 7, 2014 - 4:56am
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