Why am I feeling so out of it all the time?

Hi Anon,

Welcome to EmpowHER and thanks for your question. So sorry to hear this, i can imagine how difficult it must be after losing your husband 3 years ago and having to be there for both of your children on your own and this might be the cause of your sadness. But it becomes a problem when it starts interfering with your daily life. This is where it might lead to Depression. There are many ways to prevent from falling into depression.
Depression Medication-Depression drugs can help lift your mood and ease the sadness and hopelessness you feel.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapist-CBT is based on two specific tasks: cognitive restructuring, in which the therapist and patient work together to change thinking patterns, and behavioral activation -- in which patients learn to overcome obstacles to participating in enjoyable activities. It's best to talk to your doctor and explain what you are feeling. He or she can lead you to treatment or a good therapist.

Here are some groups which you can join and articles.
https://www.empowher.com/condition/depression/community
https://www.empowher.com/mental-health/content/finding-motivation-complete-goals-depression

Hope this helps,
Daisy