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why cant women take it when a man leaves her?

By Anonymous July 21, 2009 - 11:51pm
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i often see that women can't take the fact or rather accept the truth when men ditch them or leave them.they kind of feel that they don't in them anymore.they start feeling insecure about themselves,even though they are good. A man too feels bad when a woman leaves him but he doesn't get insecure about himself.why is it so?
i have my best freind who's bf left her and she's going mad about it saying how could he do it.she just not able to accept it.its sad to see her in this state.we all tell her she's good looking but she doesn't feel it anymore.Can anyone suggest a way how to turn this negative feeling into a positive one? what would make her feel better.thanks

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EmpowHER Guest

Girls have a hormone that is released when they are physically intimate with a man called oxytocin. Men have that hormone also, but it is not released as often as it is for women. It's called the "cuddle hormone" or "bonding hormone" because it bonds you to the other person. http://www.reuniting.info/science/oxytocin_health_bonding

December 24, 2009 - 8:07pm

I've known men who were completely crushed after a break-up when it was the woman's idea. I also don't think it's necessarily a gender thing -- I think it depends on the person, how fragile their self esteem is, etc.

I'm sorry about your friend. I think that just by being there for her as she goes through the mourning part will help her tremendously. It may take time for her to feel good about herself.

July 23, 2009 - 9:33pm

Men and women generally have different ways of handling relationships. We women tend to respond more from an emotional, personal point of view, while men seem to be unscathed. For men, it seems to be more of an affront to their ego than slicing their heart apart. However, this is only a generalization, as there are men who do take rejection very hard.

Remember the book, "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars?" Dr. Gray (who ended up divorced from his equally well-known wife shortly after the book was published) tried to offer an explanation of how differently men and women respond and react to the same sorts of situations in their relationships.

I do agree wholeheartedly with dragonfly that one's self esteem can be at the core of how we take rejection, and no one wants to feel rejected!

July 23, 2009 - 4:27pm

It's never fun when anyone feels like he or she has been rejected, but I'm not sure if it's based on gender. Your friend may be suffering from low self esteem in general and according to this article, http://berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2007/10/10_selfesteem.shtml
focusing on what one 'can' do may reverse that pattern of behavior. You may also want to pass along this information from pscyhcentral.com
To feel hurt after feeling rejected is normal. The first step now is closure and moving on, as hard as it may be, especially at first.

July 23, 2009 - 3:20pm
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